HOLY TARANTULA VAGINAS IM BACK !

Well, Hey Hey Hey thats right Your favourite Australian from Oslo who blogs and also has Evan as his middle name and one time had to go to the hospital to get sand removed from his eye is back ! With AVENGENCE ! (Think thats how u spell it, got no spell check on Saras Norwegian computer, well there probly is but i dont know how to work it haha, moving right along though). So yeah been like 7 or so months since I have blogged and im sorry about that. My need for blogging comes and goes but hopefully this time it will stick, like heroin addiction ! ;)

So whats news in my life?? (I would ask you whats goin on in your life but nobody ever bloody comments on my blogs so I assume there is no need for me to be asking) Well Sara and I got married for the second time haha, we have already had a wedding a couple of years ago but that was basically for my visa so they wouldnt send me back home to Australia, which actually wouldnt have been so bad really considering a week or so ago here in Oslo it was fucking -20 degrees !!! MINUS FUCKING 20! We also bought and apartment here in Oslo in November ( I think thats when we moved in lol) so we are both bloody happy about that ! We managed to get a really good price because a mate of mine was actually selling the property ;) Oh Yeah ! Giddy up indeed !!! Other than the wedding and the apartment buying just kinda been doing the usual shit, travelling, drinking beers, hanging out with friends, oh I got a free snowboard but thats for another post, and other than that just getting older, uglier and wiser ! ;)

So i figured I would get back into blogging by telling u guys a bit about my wedding ! It was really fucking EPDAWG ! (for those that are new to my blog epdawg is a word me and my friend Rob made up, its a combination between epic and dawg if you didnt figure that one out for yourself) We actually got married in Thailand on Koh Samui island where we first met nearly five years ago now. It was great, we came in on a motherflippin elephant and the wedding was on the beach which was great ! I had shorts and no shoes on so i was happy as fuck haha ! So yeah the wedding was great, the sunset was great, the speeches were bloody great (mine of course being oscare worthy) the whole evening was just bloody awesome ! I will show ya a few photos now and give a little explanation for all of them ! :)

Ok so this first one is of us arriving at the venue at the beach on our bloody elephatnt ! How freaken epic does it look hey, you know why it looks epic? Beacause it really was ! First and possibly last time I will ever go on an elephant ! :)

This second photo is of us holding the wedding certificate, and I must say we both look pretty damn hot if I do say so myself haha :P

This next photo is of us walking back down the isle as a married couple, there was bloody heaps of flower petals getting thrown around, was really nice though ! :)

This next shot is just of the wedding party on the beach in the shape of a heart, oh its so nice and romantic isnt it ;) One of the best things about getting married in Thailand on the island we first met was that everybody says oh thats so nice and romantic, and it kinda is, the best part is that I didnt actually have to do anything to be romantic haha, just get married in a bloody great country with great people ! :)

This next one is of Sara and her two bridesmaids, doesnt she look beautiful, of course because I wouldnt settle for anything less! She looked beautiful and i knew she would, best thing about Sara is that she is that beatiful on the inside too ! (Its corny but its true haha)

This is just one of the 345,000 photos we took with the professional photographer on the beach after the wedding, just look at that god damn sunset, you can also make out a few more islands off in the distance, god damn epic place to get married ! We were just lucky there was no rain because in the days before the wedding there usually was a tropical storm about the time the wedding was supposed to start so we were lucky with that ! :)

This next photo is just of (from left to right). My best man Johan , my dad Keith, me of course (without me bloody beard mind you !!) and Johans mate Robin (yes thats a mans name in Scandanavia). This was early in the night so we werent to drunk yet, many many people got pretty smashed haha, I wont name names but they know who they are and to be honest it just added to the atmosphere and who whole evening! ;) EPDAWG INDEED !

Last of all this is a photo of Sara and I just as we finished our wedding dance (which we took three dance classes to learn and im happy to say we pretty much smashed it) We even ended with a kiss at the exact time the fireworks went off ! How bloody epic is that ! :)

We also did heaps of other cool shit while we were in Thailand and honeymooning in Cambodia, not least eating scorpions and tarantulas (vaginas and all). So next blog I will tell you guys a bit more about what we got up to for the rest of the trip cause god damn its epic in that part of the world, when you can get a draught beer for $0.50 on the beach in a cold glass you really cant loose can you haha, until then keep it real, glad to be back and I hope you guys ( the 5 People who read my blog) are happy too ! I will DEFINITELY keep it up more often this time !

That is all, Peace out, Catch ;)

Holy camel testicles Angela Merkel I just went past 12,000 views !!! :)

Hey hey hey all my loving and adoring fans ! Hope your all bloody great !
So yeah I just went past 12,000 page views for my blog !! :) . Whilst I am definitely not breaking any records or winning any awards I still think its pretty fucking epdawg !

Not really sure who reads my blog or if just a handfull of people read it and a shitload of other people get lost on the internet or possibly someone takes a lot of drugs and gets stuck in a constant loop of reloading my page constantly for hours upon hours... either way whatever it is I just wanted to say cheers (Australian for thanks) to the people who do read it. There are a few I know and a few that I have met through my blog and it makes me happy as fuck to know all my stupid ramblings are being read by people ... hopefully being appreciated aswell haha.

This is the list of the top places that have viewed my blog and how many views per country there is :) Kinda cool ! I know people obviously in Norway, Sweden, Australia and the United Kingdom but dont know anyone from those other countries. Which again is cool as fuck that people are reading my blog from all over the world. Even just this week people have read my blog from such random places as Mexico, India , Austria, Netherlands and Tanzania ... Tanzafuckingnia !! Pretty sweet! Just happy as fuck to be able to express my opinions and views and feelings about the world we live in.

Norway	3008
United States	2230
Australia	1551
United Kingdom	564
Sweden	524
France	398
Russia	378
Ukraine	369
Germany	316
Latvia	137

Anyways just a quick blog to say cheers and of course keep checking in every now and then to see what more stupid/crazy/informative and generally awesome things I have written on the interweb. You know now if you type Aussie in Oslo or even Australian in Oslo in Google my blog will come up first ! :). Kinda cool I reckon ! :) Cheers again and now i will reward you with some stupid but fucking hilarious meme I found on the internet today haha. Keep it real... like this kid !!
That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)

Australia volume 3 . Giddy the fuck up ! ;)

Yo yo yo girls and boys hope your all doing swell . Thats a nice thing to say . Swell . Have a swell day . Yes . Nice . Anyways moving on . This is the third and last post about our trip back home to the land down under. Nothing more nothing less.- Here goes.

Picture of me and my little bro Jahnu before we went driving rally cars ... fuck yes it was good !!

So just after Christmas was my 30th birthday which was pretty epic. Got to go driving a Subaru WRX rally car at lunch time which was pretty sweet , although it was very wet ! Had a few ppl over for a party at me lovely mums place (which she kindly donated for the party) and it went off like a frog in a sock ! I reckon about 50 ppl showed up which was great and trippy also as I hadnt seen many of them in many years. Bloody good night that was ! :) Next follows a couple of pictures from my 30th birthday. The first one is of me and my sister Teagan and the second is of me and my best mate Rob. Who turned 29 on the same day. Giddy up ! :)

Me and Rob after a "coupleofbeers" ! ;)

After all of this it was our turn finally to go on our own small vacation to the whitsunday islands which is bloody paradise ... I think anyways ... it rained most the time we were there ! But there was about 2 days of sun out of 5 which aint great but better than nothing! There was just enough sun around for me to do my second skydive and hooly shit what a skydive ! Sara surprised me with this for my 30th birthday present and its by far the best present I have ever got ! ( Although she did buy me a tank drive the year before haha). Anyways skydive was epic ! Jumped from 15,000 feet I think ! Would do more skydiving if I had the Money ! (Costs about $500 a jump ... well worth it but im not that rich !). Other than that we just went back to Brisvegas and caught up with friends and family again before heading off to Seoul in South Korea for one night on our way home ! Which I will tell you about soon ! :)

These next two pictures are of an island we stayed on in the Whitsundays ... it was just a sweet ass island with only one resort and thats it ! Check out how nice it looked !! It was pretty damn good ... well the island was good, the resort was kinda shit but owel.

When I look back at these photos it makes me think that I really must be crazy to live in Norway when I could live back here ... ahwell the things you do for love hey ! Anyways I told Sara im moving back home at the latest in 2020 for a few years ... hopefully she will join ! ;)

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)

Australia volume 2 yo !

Yo yo yo all my interweb reading mates how the fuck are ya !? Hope your all bloody good !

So yeah after we came back from Moreton Island we went on a big road trip to visit my relatives who live in Orange in New South Wales which is about 2200 kilometres return trip ... pretty big road trip ! Was bloody awesome ! There is nothing better than not actually knowing where you are going to stop but just choosing a town from the map and saying , yep we will stay there ! On the way down we stayed in a town called Armidale and caught up with my cousin Mick who lives there. We slept in his mates bed which was bloody comfortable but also weird sleeping in the room and bed of someone who we had never met ...but it was free and it was comfortable so it was good ! Then after that we stopped at a town called Dubbo and we stayed at some awesome old pub in the middle of town. We even got a free upgrade on our room which meant we didnt have to use the nasty shared bathrooms haha. Then we stayed in Orange for a night and caught up with Family which was bloody awesome cause I hadnt seen many of them in over 5 years !

This is just some random dead tree I saw and took a photo of ... I reckon its really awesome and really refelects the Australian outback ! :)

 

 

A cockatoo at some small and kinda weird zoo in the middle of nowhere in the middle of New South Wales !

 An emu in the same middle of nowhere zoo !

On the way back we stayed in a place called Moree. Apparently there are a heap of hot water springs due to the artisanal waters or whatever it is around the area. We found a half dodgy motel on the side of the highway which had a pool and spa with warm water coming up directly from the springs ! Bloody epdawg it was !!!

Sara in the spa pool in Moree ... the hot water came up from 642m underneath the earth ... awesome !

Welcome to COONABARABRAN !!! ;)

 

Welcome to BOGGABILLA !! ;)

 

Christmas day in Australia !

Other than those main places we stayed we also went through countless small towns and medium sized towns and they were all pretty damn cool. Seriously nothing better than rocking up to some small town of 3000 people and going to the local pub for lunch and order a huge steak and a nice cold beer. Fuck me I wish I had both of those things right now ! All in all just another epic road trip that Sara and I have been on in Australia. Nothing compared to the 6000 kilometre road trip we did the first time Sara came to Australia but it was still bloody awesome !! :)

That is all, Peace out, Catch ;)

Went back home to Australia for christmas ... was fucken EPDAWG!!! :)

Yo yo yo how the bloody hell are ya my fellow warm blooded mammal friends ?

So yeah Sara and I went back to Australia for a month in December/January and holy fuck me it was good ! To be honest it was a bit surreal to be back home because it was over 2.5 years ago I left to move my ass to bloody Oslo of all places.

One thing that I did realise about being back home is that people are just motherflipping awesome ... everywhere u go people are friendly and they are actually genuinely friendly . Not just friendly because they think they need to be. Even when Sara and I were in some stupid girly clothes shop we ended up talking to the chick behind the counter for about five minutes because she asked us a few questions ... its bloody awesome . Even when we were on the bus on the way home at nearly every single bus stop whenever anyone got off they always looked up and waved to the driver to say thank you ... that shit would NEVER happen in Oslo!!!.

So we ended up doing a whole lot of cool shit back home. Which was sweet ! The first cool thing we did was go camping on an island called Moreton Island which is a huge sand island (2nd biggest sand island in the world!) just off the coast of Brisbane for a weekend with a few of my good mates and Family (There was 12 of us all up). What a fucken great trip it was !!! I love nothing more than being away from the city just camping and chilling and doing sweet shit like surfing or fishing or bushwalking or just having a few beers on the beach listening to some sweet tunes just talking shit ! Was a great weekend and I also invented a new alcoholic beverage ! Just mix some goon (cheap wine) and some lemonade and then chuck a couple of teaspoons of coffee in there ! I was feeling a bit tired on the second night after a big night on the first night so i figured I would try this new drink which I have appropriately named GOONOFFEE!!!! To be honest,  yes it tastes as bad as you think . But after that you do get stimulated and get a buzz so in the end it was bloody good !! I could write a heap about Moreton and how much I love it but I reckon just putting a few pictures up here will be better at explaning the awesomeness of Moreton !

This first Picture is of all the shipwrecks near the beach when you come in on the big car ferry . In the 1970s the local council sunk a whole heap of ships to form an artificial reef where you can snorkel and there is about literally 56 million Fish Down there !!!! :) So awesome !!

 

Sara and I next to a whale jaw bone !!!

Bloody huge it was ... and smelly haha

 

 

Ra, Joal , Me and Patrick chilling at honeymoon bay !  

 





 

 

 

Sara With one huge bloody jellyfish !! I got stung by a few of these when we went bodyboarding that same day !! Not so much fun, but not that bad cause they arent poisonous or anything ... still hurts a bit !

 

This is a selfie of us taking a selfie ... kinda . Me and one of my best mates Jacko taking a picture of our sexy asses !! ;)

 

 

 

All in all it was a freaken great weekend of laughs and adventure and just good times in general ! Because so bloody much shit went down in Australia I will have to write a few seperate blogs about it so I can fit in all the awesome !! :) :) :)

 

That is all , Peace out, Catch ;)

 

 

 

 

 

Cant think of anything to blog so heres some of my favorite pictures from me FB ;) :D

Yo yo yo whats going down all my bitches and niggas ( probly shouldnt say niggas but hey if people complain I will just put that down to good publicity , they do say any puiblicity is good publicity ) Aaaaaaanyways just having a good old scroll through all my old facebook photos and figured I can fill up a post with putting my favorite pictures in here haha . Lazy but effective is how I would describe this post . Anyways here we go ;)

First picture is just of me and Sara ( my better half ) without Sarez (as she hates to be called MUHAHAHA) I wouldnt be the person I am today . She is the love of my life and all that other crap . Shes hot and shes Swedish to which of course is a bonus ;)

The second picture is of me and Sarez holding some snakes in Morocco infront of a cobra - which I was fucking shitting myself of because the cobra was only about 2 metres away haha.

This third picture is of me next to a log cabin in Saras home town of Karlskrona (Sweden) I figured since my blog is called Aussie in Oslo I should show some winter pictures considering its basically winter here for fucking 6 months of the year !!

The fourth picture is of me standing next to a moose on some "moose safari" that Sarez and I did in Sweden . It was basically a huge pen where there were moose and you just walked around it ...kinda boring but kinda cool in a way because I had never seen a live moose ... they are actually pretty fucking big haha. Funny as I told Sarez that when she came to Australia we went diving with great white sharks that were 5 meters long (in a cage of course) and when I come to Sweden we go on a bloody moose safari haha :P

This fifth picture if of my family ... well some of them anyways as I have a fucken big family haha. On the left is my sister Zadeena , then of course me , then my dad Keith dressed as Shrek and my stepmum Kim as Shreks wife (or whatever) and then my sister Teags . Family is awesome and I miss mine heaps cause I have the best family in the history of everything haha ;)

The sixth picture is of me and a mate fishing on the Pottsville river . Pottsville is about 2.5 hours drive from Brisbane and me and my mates used to go their camping at least every month ... it is my favorite place in the world ... there isnt even a close second . So many good memories ... and not a phone in sight haha ;)

The seventh picture is of me doing a "FULLY SICK BURNOUT BRO!" in my old ute in the middle of the Aussie outback when Sarez and I were on a massive roadtrip . Man I miss the hugeness of Australia haha ... Did you know you can fit 17 Swedens in Australia .. true fact yo ;)

The eight picture is of a koala Sarez and me came across on the side of the road in Australia when we were on our road trip , Sarez even got to pat it a little bit which was freaken super rare , I have seen many koalas in my time but they are always up in the trees so she was bloody lucky to get this opportunity on her first trip to Australia .

The Ninth Picture is of me standing in a field of rapeseed in Sweden ... I kinda look like a rapist in this photo so its kinda fitting haha :P

The tenth and last picture is of a small fish Sarez caught- (on her first bloody cast! Look how amazed she looks haha) at Pottsville , my two favorite things in the world all in one . Sarez and Pottsville ... if only I could convince Sarez to move to Pottsville ¨with me then my life would be Complete ! :D Sorry this post was a bit lazy but hey all I can think about right now seems to be how stupid people are so I figured I needed to seprate my rants with some normality. Keep it real gangsters !

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)

100TH BLOG POST !!! GIDDY THE FUCK UP!

Hey hey  hey all my intraweb mates this will be my 100th blog post so I suppose I gotta make it special or some shit ;) I have just over 7000 page views now which I reckon is pretty damn cool ,it also could just mean that a lot of people are getting lost on the internet and end up clicking on my blog haha. Anyways cheers to all the people who do actuaully read my blog often and like it , or even if you hate it but hate it so much you gotta read it , any publicity is good publicity they say :P

Not to sure what I should post but maybe I should tell you all a little more about myself and shit that I like / dont like ;) . As you may or may not know im 29 years young now and not really looking forwards to turning 30 , in some ways I am but mostly not haha. Im now married to my long term girlfriend Sara who is turning 28 this year (but dont mention that to her haha). We met in Thailand in an Irish pub on an island called Ko Samui nearly 3 years ago now :)

Have you ever heard of the comedian called Louis CK ? He is definitely my favorite comedian and is so fucking hilarious I nearly die laughing everytime I watch him. Here is a link of probly one of my favorite bits from him ... if you have a good sense of humour you will laugh your head off haha Its so true when he says - "back in the day you could just smoke a joint for a while and it would be ok , but now you have two hits and you go INSANE !" hahahahaha so true ! Check it out ! ;)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8FzGlgVGdo

Honestly I think there is nothing funnier than a good Simpsons episode ... the new ones are all fucking terrible but the old ones are so fucking good its unebeleivable haha ... here is one of my favorite quotes from the one and only Homer Simpson :) -

So while im at it I may aswel post up my favorite quote from Peter from Family Guy because as the same is with the Simpsons their old stuff is the best shit you will ever watch but the same cant be said for the new stuff... why dont they just give up while they are ahead instead of trying to squeeze every last penny out of something and in turn actually killing it a little bit ... anyways still gold haha

Have I told ya about how much I hate Tony Abbot ... well I do ... I write blog posts about it often ... just check in my backlog of posts and you will find some posts about my massive hatred for that stupid , racist , bigoted , capitalistic , piece of human excrement that MrTony Abbot really is.I often thing to myself ... seriously how the fuck is he the Prime Minister of the best country in the world .... its a fucking sick joke it is !!! How can one man be so fucking stupid !!!! ????

Ok so enough with the Tony Abbot bashing lol , now I will post up a few pics from home to give you an idea of what its like to live in Brisbane , Australia ;) Being in nature is probably my favorite thing so I will just show you all the awesome things around Brisbane :) So So So many !!!

This first one is of a place called Natural Bridge which is in Springbrook National Park in South East Queensland and takes about 1.5 hours to drive to from Brisbane ! :) How awesome is it !!!

This next place is called Cedar Creek and its only about 45 mins drive from the center of Brisbane and then a 30 mins walk and its such a great place ... This first pic is of my mates Jimbo and Chicken who I went there with one day ... you can also sit under the waterfall as I did and slide down it a little bit as you will see in the second picture ... the water doesnt look so clear but it is and its so fresh you can drink it as it comes straight from the Rainforest / mountain ... fucken LOVE this Place !!!

This next place I will show you is called the Glasshouse Mountains which are about 1 hour drive North of  Brisbane and I used to go there a lot and climb these small Mountains , great way to keep fit and get back to nature ... the first pics here are from a mountain called Mt Tibrogargan and the first time we tried it we failed because we were shit scared but me and my mate Jacko went back 2 weeks later and made it up ! Bloody great hike it is ! Fucken steep in bits too !

 

 

 

This last place is a place called Lamington National park which is also within 2 hours drive of Brisbane ... unbloody beleivable these places are ... so so so beautiful and relaxing !

 

 

So yeah there are many other awesome national parks within 2 hours drive of Brisbane and many people say Brisbane isnt the best city but what makes it so god damn awesome is the things within a 2 hour drive from Brisbane ... there is everything you could want - Rainforest, Beach , Mountains , tropical islands , countryside and the best of all , friendly People ! ;)

 

Anyways cheers again cunts for reading and I look forwards to writing another 100 blog posts and hopefully one day getting to 100,000 views ... that would be so awesome !! So if you like my blog or even hate it so much , please tell your mates because the more views I get the more often I feel like posting ! Cheers mofos

 

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)