The Justin Bieber generation will be the death of all of us !!!!! Seriously they are like a horde of dickwads.

Hey hey hey all my farmville playing young people I hope you have your mobile phone with you because otherwise if you dont you may DIE ! This is how it seems for the young kids aged anywhere in western society from 12-22 .... its not healthy for the mind.

The other day Sara and I were having a nice sunday lunch after a big night out and it wasnt bad ...I paid about $35 AUD and got a shitty steak sandwich with one piece of bread (thats how they do it here ... stupid I know) its a rip off and the service was terrible but at least I am used to that.... but something I cant and will never get over is this;- When we were leaving I saw a couple at the next table BOTH playing some kind of Farmville game or some shit on their phones .... fucken BOTH of them ! I just felt like smashing their phones on the ground infront of them and saying "TALK TO EACH OTHER YOU STUPID FUCKING SOCIALLY INEPT FUCKWITS!!!". But of course I didnt cause im not a cockmuncher like they were ... seriously why did you even leave your hovel you stupid boring people .... whatever happened to uncomfortable silences ... what ever happened to talking with the person you sit next to on the plane????? I will tell ya what happened to that shit we used to call real life COMMUNICATION between two human beings ... it went out the window with this great thing that most people laud and worship ....TECHNOLOGY.

Dont worry about playgrounds in the future ... the kids will only be worrying about the WIFI connection in the schoolyard .... fuck that!!!

 

Ok whilst I admit Technology has SOME good uses ... I think its mainly just a fast way to bring about the downdfall of mankind :( .... People arent learning the simple skills in life which helps you with one of the most basic and most important human traits ... the understanding and relating to our fellow human beings... the kids just arent learning how to read and understand people as we used to.

When I was at Burger King the other day having some lunch I saw a table of 14-18 year old kids and they were all sitting at their table and EVERYONE was looking at their phone at one point ... and it just made me sad to think that this is how the world is going .... it really sucks .... I just hope that anyone reading this can think about this and maybe raise their kids in a different way and teach them about manners and nature and love and forgiveness, because at this rate humanity is heading down a very depressing and boring future :( ... just take 2 hours a night or even 2 hours a week where you just dont use any kind of technology and maybe just think to yourself or even do something amazing and call a friend or a family member you havent talked to in a while and say hello| instead of leaving them a msg or a poke on facebook ... that shit just aint the same yo ! ;)

Anyways bit of a boring post but this shit really gets to me and it actually really gets me angry to see how the world is changing and in my eyes its mostly changing for the worse :(  Take some time to say hello to someone random once in a while ... it will make you feel human.

That is all , Peace out , Catch

The differences between Australia and Norway ...

Hey hey hey all my Auswegian friends I hope your all good and I also hope you have a good sense of humour if your from Norway/ Australia because your gunna have to be able to laugh at yourself !

So yeah here`s the deal , the other day a question was raised in the "Aussies in Oslo" facebook page and it was wether Norway/Norwegians are boring. Short answer I said yes ... its not that everyone/everything is boring ... just a lot of people are ... for instance there has only been ONE occasion where I have been to a supermarket and the person has actually asked how my day is ... and he was a champ who I actually became friends with , either way my point is that if you were a Scandanavian living in Australia going to the same supermarket each day and get served by the same people that after a time you would actually get to know that person (not everyone of course but some) Another good example is that if you are outside a pub having a smoke in Norway pretty much nobody will talk to you but in Australia you actually make friends in the smoking area and then continue to drink with them the rest of the night. Now whilst I must stress not ALL Norwegians are like this ... I have Norwegian friends who are more crazy and loose than anyone I know back home ... but its all about the majorities in this topic of conversation. Now I will comprise a small/big list of the differences between Our two countries.

                                             How Norwegians celebrate their national day -

EVERYBODY dresses up in suits and traditional costumes and parades around the city waving flags.

                                            How Australians celebrate their national day-

Pretty much everybody goes to a backyard party with a blow up pool and "goon of fortune" (Norwegians look it up !) and our favorite radio station ( Triple J ) Counts down the hottest 100 songs of the past year , and if your not drunk as hell by 9pm then your Un-Australian!!.

                                                              How Norwegians party-

They are generally well behaved and of course very very well dressed , shit gets out of control but its always managable and pretty sensible.

                                                               How Australians party -

This guy is a true example of an Australian partying ... just not giving a fuck and looking/acting like a total dick for everyone elses enjoyment ... this epitomises what it means to be an Australian and be partying.

                                                          Norwegian alcohol stores-

Closed on Sundays , only open until 3pm on Saturday ! Closes at 8pm weekdays , government has a monopoly over selling alcohol as they own these Vinmonopolet`s and nobody else can sell alchohol other than beer and only beer less than %5 ... I like how it sounds like MONOPOLY. Stupid government.

                                                             Australian alchohol stores-

We have DRIVE THROUGH bottle stores! (I do NOT condone drink driving) Most bottle stores are open until midnight every night except Sunday on which they Close at 10pm. There is almost as many bottle stores as 7-elevens in some Places.

                                                            Norwegians Seasons -

                                                                  Winter

                                        
            
                                                                    Summer

                                                                    Australian Seasons-

                                                                        Winter
Taken at a Beach (Noosa) 2 hours drive from where I live in the middle of June ( middle of "Winter")

 

                                                                     Summer

 

 

Whilst I do admit that Norwegian summers are almost as good as the Australian summers (if the beaches had waves they would be Equal) the problem is they only last around 3 months and then its back inside for everybody.

 

                                                                   Norways deadliets animals-

 



 

 

Australia`s deadliest animals- to many to list but heres a few!

 

 

 

 



 

Worlds deadliest snake - Taipan

 

 

Ok so I think thats it for a while haha but I really hope I havent offended anyone in making this list I just have been here in Norway for nearly 2 years and find the differences between the 2 countires mildly amusing ... and crazy at times. Hope you all visit both countries if you have never been before as they are both bloody awesome ... just Australia is best ... the greatest country in the world ! Sorry I know I am biased but even so I truly beleive that its true. Cheers mates ! :)

 

That is all, Peace out, Catch 

 

Turns out getting married is pretty damn complicated ... if your a woman !! ;)

Hey hey hey all my fellow intraweb users I hope that when/if you get married it isnt to complicated ... cause this shit is out of control !!

So yeah we are getting married and it turns out that for some reason its super complicated ... even though this isnt really our real wedding and its mainly for visa reasons ( big wedding to come :P ) ... Sara is stressing so bloody much ... she even said she is stressed because IM not stressed hahahaha jesus christ its INSANE ! Last night she was having me practice walking for when we are walking down the isle ... I said , ah im pretty sure I already know how to walk ... you learn that shit early in your life ... when your about 2-3 years old. Then we have to practice saying "I will" haha then get this ... she wants to practice TURNING AROUND ... like its somehow become really complicated since I last did it and somehow im going to manage to fuck it up hahahaha .... some part of me just wants to fuck it up and fall over on purpose just to prove that it doesnt really matter if everything doesnt go according to plan.

                                       Bitches be crazy when they getting married ! ;)

The funniest part about the wedding is that Saras friends had organised to do some "performance" involving them getting up on the stage and dancing the Beyonce`s song "all the single ladies" ... I had just one word for that ... terrible... I understand that girls might like that but im a guy and thats just bloody terrible ... thats like me asking if we can have a death metal band up on stage and smash out a song ... thank god the priest said NO .. lets just say I was a little (lot) happy when he said no hahaha. One other thing that she was hoping for was for one of her friends who is in a choir to sing a song and have another one of her friends who is a dancer to dance ballet to it ... that I said fuck NO to that ... I could handle the Beyonce thing but ballet at my wedding ... no fucking way ! Also she wanted to walk out of the church to the stupid Gangnam Style song by PSY ... thankfully the priest said no to that also ... turns out this priest is a bit of a fun killer ... but I suppose that goes hand in hand with religion doesnt it ! ;)

Anyways im looking forwards to the wedding because it will be good and I love Sara more than anything but im very much looking forwards to just being married and not having to worry about all these things haha ... crazy thing is that this is just a practice wedding kind of as we will have the "propper" wedding here in Oslo probly sometime next year ... my plan is just to go away for one month and come back 2 days before the wedding when everything is done and organised ... because if this small wedding is this stressfull I can begin to imagine how stressfull the real one will be!. Wish us luck!. Probably next time I post I will be a married man ;)

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)

We are getting married yo ! ;) HUZZAH ! :)

Hey hey hey all my intraweb pals I hope that you have/will find/found the person who you will marry and love forever and have kids and shit with cause I found mine ! :) Its corny or whatever but its true :)

So yeah for those of you who dont know my girlfriend her name is Sara and she is from Sweden ya and she is freaken awesome and beautiful and all other nice words ;) We met in an Irish pub in Thailand and it all kinda went from there ... crazy shit ... im so glad I can say that and its interesting because it is ... way better than Dazza telling me he met Shazza down at the local pub around the corner which is around the corner from where he grew up and about 500m from where he was born. Dazza is boring ...

Me and Sarez ... she hates that nickname ... hence why I use it all the time ! ;)

So yeah funny thing was that last night when I went to buy a suit I then realised that this was the first time I have actually bought a suit and im nearly 29 years old hahaha. I have borrowed a couple from mates but never owned one and its really my kinda style to only actually end up buying a suit when im getting married hahaha. I wouldnt have it any other way. :P

Sara and I get along so well and she makes me the man I am today and its freaken awesome because she gives me so much confidence and happiness in my everyday life that its just bloody awesome ... I will also need her to be there for me when I have times when I miss my family and friends back home .. which is a lot nowdays :( . This wedding has really kinda only come about because my visa runs out at the end of the year and we just talked a lot about it and figured it was easiest to get married so thats what we be doin yo ! ;) We will have a bigger ( more expensive ) wedding here in Oslo sometime in the next year or 2 ( also a big celebration back home in Australia ! ). We are just considering this like our engagement but by the letter of the law we will be married ... you can see my point I hope ... anyways just thought I would write a post about it seeing as though its pretty big news or whatever ;) I sincerely hope that you all find someone to love and marry because it really is the best thing in the world and when I have Sara nothing matters ... except sometimes the cricket score ... thats also very important ;)


This is a Picture of Sara ... she is as beautiful on the outside as she is on the inside ... and smart and funny and charming aswel .. sometimes I think she must be blind/dumb and deaf to be going to marry me ... but then I remember that im actually like pretty awesome :P.

That is all , Peace out , Catch

So fucking what Paul Walker died ... it was reckless.. there are much more IMPORTANT things to be talking about !!!

Hey hey hey all my fast and furious loving mates I hope that you arent feeling to bad because this dick head Paul Walker died. Ok maybe he isnt a dick head but for the whole world to be mourning his death like this is just sick !

DID YOU SEE THE FUCKING CAR ! THEY MUST HAVE BEEN GOING 150 KLM/H + !!!

Look at this picture of the wreckage ... im sorry but I have no sympathy when its obvious that huge amounts of speed was involved ... ok he wasnt driving but I have been in cars when my mates are doing 120 klm/h on the highway and I ask them to please slow down ...

This is why I have no sympathy for him ... ok its sad but fuck me this is apparently big news and my facebook has been jammed up with all this R.I.P Paul Walker BULLSHIT ! Fast and the Furious is fucking shit anyways... I have pooed out better things than The Fast and the Furious. Seriously

I just cant seem to comprehend how big this is and how fucked up the world must be to make this such big news ... ummmm what about the thousands and thousands of people who are dying in wars around the world each month ... what about the fact that in Syria the government used NAPALM on a bunch of schoolkids playing in the playground !! FUCKING NAPALM !! Oh no thats right some B grade actor who passed away through recklessness is WAY more important ... the world is fucked up if this is big news ...

Anyways just a short post to share my anger and disgust that this has become huge news ... ok if he was shot by someone or he died through some other way but did you see the car ! Maybe in a way it will be a good thing because then all these dick head kids wont drive around racing their stupid doof doof cars on the streets and endangering the lives of not only themselves and their passengers but also everyone else on the road ... its harsh but its true. Sorry if I come across as a cold hearted bastard but its just really dissapointing to see first hand what the world is like and how ignorant most of the world actually is ...

That is all, Peace out, Catch ;)

My new boss is criminally insane ... like seriously ... HE CRAZY !

Hey hey hey all my criminally insane mates I hope that you dont have a mega crazy ass boss like I do because it really actually sucks a heap of testicles to have a crazy ass boss.

So yeah the deal is that I started a new job a couple of weeks ago and it turns out my boss is insane... even the first time I met him to have coffee and talk about me working for him he actually forgot to pay for the coffee so I had to bloody pay for the coffee ... shoulda suspected he was weird then. So yeah on the first day he tells me he just got out of jail 2 years ago and I thought ok I dont really care just as long as he has work. The very next day ( 2nd day I ever met this man ) He goes on to tell me that he was in jail for 7 years for smuggling 300kgs of hash and 6 kgs of speed ... and he was going on about how some "cunt" snitched on him ... um .... I can definitely can see how that would come about mate ... I have known you for 2 days and you have told me all this shit and even offered me hash haha what a fucking numbskull !!

The other day I got in his car and first thing he says is wow look what I found under the seat ... and he showed me 2 small pieces of hash and then promptly said "oh yeah I should tell you I lost my liscence yesterday" ... and I just said fair enough ... but being the insane person he is he decided he needed to tell me that he got caught driving with cocaine and speed in his system on the weekend ... this guy is like 50 years old or some shit and seriously he is the biggest fuck up I have EVER met !

Today he told me to meet him at some train station at 8am and I was there at 7;55 and called him ... no answer ... msg him ... nothing ... waited 20 mins ... called again ... no answer ... msg again ... waited another 20 mins and called again ... no answer ... then just went the fuck home ... seriously this is my idea of an anti-idol ... I dont need an idol when I have this guy .... if all I ever acheive in my life was to become the complete opposite of this fucking fucked up man then I would be a happy Lachlan ... seriously this guy is out of control .... I just hope he pays me the 9000 NOK that he owes me ...  not holding my breath though haha.

I just found this pick of this crazy guy and he kinda looks like him haha .. probly this bacon loving freak has more of an idea of how to act like a normal person than my "boss" does hahaha :P

Anyways I hope all you guys dont have crazy bosses because its ok to have crazy co-workers but when the person responsible for you receiving money is actually insane its a bit nerve racking haha.

That is all , Peace out, Catch ;)

TONY ABBOT IS A HUGE DICK ! (true story!)

hey hey hey all my Austraian political readers and viewers I hope you hate Tony Abbot as much as me ... well thats not hard really when hes just a huge dick! (true story)

Did you know that Tony Abbot is a fuckwit?. No ? Well let me assure you he is one HUGE dick ! The worst thing is that he has somehow managed to become the prime minister of Australia and not really through his policies or persona or humility but mainly kinda like an incumbent I would say ... the labour party fucked up real bad as they managed to vote  out Kevin Rudd and then Vote him back in as prime minister again during a 4 year term ... so really the Public was just like ... well fuck labour they have obviously got NO idea what they are doing lets just vote for whomever the liberal party puts up to run for prime minister ... and it was Tony Abbot ... and hes a dick ! ( a HUGE one )

One of the first few Things that Mr Abbot ( AKA-Huge Dick ) Changed directly after coming into power was allowing a proposal to go ahead for a MASSIVE port to be.... wait for it ..... BUILT ON THE GREAT BARRIER REEF ! Why ? so that Australias megadouche bitchface Gina Rhinehart (Richest woman/man in Australia) can ship out vast amounts of coal THROUGH a port contstructed ON the fucking GREAT BARRIER REEF ! ummmmm the Great Barrier Reef is ALREADY having enough trouble on its own due to the massive amounts of bleaching of corals ( due to rising global temperatures ) and also agricultural runoff from industry and the huge amounts of ships that already traverse through the reef on a daily basis. I cant beleive that this can even be considered! ... we only got one fucking Great Barrier Reef and at this rate it will be screwed by the time we have grandkids!!! ... imagine how you have to tell your grandkids there is no more Great Barrier Reef because we fucked it up - "im sorry little Jonny but we just fucked up the reef"...." but why ? how did you fuck up the reef grandad were you stupid or just ignorant?" "well little Jonny we were just ignorant... we even KNEW we were killing it but nobody seemed to care to much so we kept doing that and now its fucked" WOOPS!. Anyways enough rambling about that because  Mr Abbot has an array of many stupid things he has managed to achieve in his short time as prime minister.

This is the Great Barrier Reef and we are killing it ! Sign a petition to help save it ! This is a link where YOU can help save The Great Barrier Reef ! :) It takes ONE MINUTE ! :)

 https://www.getup.org.au/campaigns/coal-seam-gas/unesco-great-barrier-reef/sign-the-petition

So basically the next thing that Mr Abbot did was try and approve the logging of some old Growth foests in Tasmania that had just become  UNESCO World Heritage Listed ... seriously ? They just became UNESCO listed and then your like ... nah fuck it we will just cut them down anyways ... some of the trees we are talking about take up to 300 years to grow! Stupidity!

Ok so the last thing I want to rant about is Tony Abbots New asylum seeker policy , which involves sending back boats from Indonesia packed with asylum seekers seeking a new life and a way to a life where they will not be persucuted and in harms way. First of all this is actually almost illegal due to international law which says that since they are in our territory they are our responsibility. Now im not saying that all of these "Boat People" as they are commonly reffered to in Australia are actually valid asylum seekers but the majority are and seriously if they are that desperate to get in a 30m long fising boat With 200 other People and attempt to reach Australia by braving the might of the sea for a few days then good Luck to them I say and most of them are asylum seekers and should be helped. One of the worst Things is that ever when they do Reach the Australian Mainland they spend usually one or 2 years in a "detention centre" which is more like a jail ... you cant leave , it has a big fence and you cant interact With the local community. This is not good for many obvious ways but the main one being that it automatically seggregates these asylum seekers which is not good for their mental state when trying to start a new life. Pretty much ALL Australians actually forget that WE are ALL actually "boat people" as such.  We were colonised via the First Fleet which only arrived in Australia in 1770 ... for around 60,000 years aboriginals inhabitated "Our" country and we invaded them...

Anyways what more can I say really other than Tony Abbot is a huge dick ... he even looks like a dick and talks like a dick ... I mean just look at him ... Australia you fucked up bad ... he cant even fake smile good ... and if Your gunna be prime minister that needs to be the thing your real good at !

 

 

That is all , Peace out , Catch .... and Fuck you Mr Abbot !