Shit I Think About !

Hey hey hey all my thirteen fans hope your all bloody great !


So yeah couldn`t really think of a name for this blog as I dont actually have any certain topic to blog about just thought I would type whatever has been on my mind recently. :)


Tell ya what its nearly the end of winter here and fuck me im fucking excited ! Winter here is fucking dark and depressing and just plain shithouse ! People always tell me yeah well dont just complain get out there and go skiing and stuff , I did that , I went Snowboarding twice and I sucked balls ! I had done it once before in Australia (yes we have snow too haha) but that was 16 years ago and I had no fear and it turns out a much better sense of balance back then. Yes it was still fun and for sure im looking forwards to it next year but the point is its gunna take me a while to get good and another point is ITS STILL FUCKING COLD OUTSIDE !!! I come from Brisbane , sometimes it gets to 30 degrees CELCIUS in the WINTER !! Im just not used to not only being in such god damn cold weather (-20 celcuis) but also being inside so much, it sucks so much camel balls. I almost never used to watch movies or anything now I have seen nearly all of Netflix. Here is a random kinda nasty meme about Netflix haha :P Hey he deserves it ... probably ... ;)

 Back home we would always go to the park or have a BBQ or I would drive to the mountains and do a bushwalk, In fact every week I would always do a bushwalk even if it was just around the city (there was a sweet mini forest near where I used to live with my sister Teagan). Anyways dont wanna complain to much or I will seem like a dick but fuck man winter is fucked... like real fucked. What probably makes it also even worse is how good summer is here ! Sun, BBQ , swimming in the fjords and amazing sunsets at 11:30pm ! You would find a harder place to beat in the summer than Oslo when its 30 degrees and sunny and the fjords are warm. Bloody epdawg it is ! This following Picture is a sillhouette of Sara standing in the sunset at 11pm in summer in Oslo 11pm !!!!

What else is going Down?? The American election, or at least the election before the election whatever the fuck is up with that .... so far I (and many others) have come to the conclusion that  Donald Trump is the shittest cunt I have ever seen in my life, he is ugly, he is stupid , he is recist, he is sexist, he is a hypocrite and worst of all he is a MEGA CAPITALIST. Which is the LAST thing the world needs right now! The main reason for many if not ALL of the environmental, economic and social problems the world faces these days is a DIRCECT result of capitalism. This other guy Bernie Sanders looks really great and seems to have great policies including free healthcare and education for all and actually taxing the shit out of all these billionares who basically pay zero tax whilst the rest of us pay heaps and slave our whole lives to make these handfull of people all the money. You may wonder why I am almost referring to America like I live there but these days they are literally the world police and I live in the world and I would like to see the police I like ruling the world. Not that people need to rule the world but this is the shituation we find ourselves in these days. Either way Sara and I are going to America in June for her 30th birthday so I wont go on to much about the American government because I literally think there is a super small possibility that I could get in some trouble over there. I know how the NSA works thanks to Edward Snowden and now that I have only mentioned his name here it would probably come up on their list of material which needs closer analysing. Yeah I may sounds crazy but hey read a book about Edward Snowden and how .... ok I have said enough haha. We are goin to New York for five nights and I cant bloody wait ! We even booked tickets to see the New York Yankees which im pretty stoked about, not so stoked about going to see The Lion King on Broadway or some drag show she wants to go to also but I know it will make Sara happy so i suppose its worth it haha :P. This NeXT meme of Donald Trump sums up how I feel about him.... just FUCK !

Next topic, the world , the more I seem to learn about whats going on with the world the more depressed I get about it. Sometimes I wish I was just ignorant and had my head in the sand like many others pretending that there is no problems. But I cant do that, there is an endless amount of problems going down with the world RIGHT NOW, such as climate change, extremely bad economic systems which eventually will lead to the collapse of the worlds economy, the introduction of more and more robots into the workplace which in turn will lead to hundreds of millions of people being out of work IN OUR LIFETIME. All those Things and I havent even mentioned all the wars or the real reasons they are happening because what they (the government) tell you is far from true. Anyways I see now this blog is turning into more of a book or newspaper article (for those to young to know what a newspaper is Google it haha) so i will sign off and wish you all a fucking rad day ! Cheers for reading will be back again soon !


That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)

HOLY TARANTULA VAGINAS IM BACK !

Well, Hey Hey Hey thats right Your favourite Australian from Oslo who blogs and also has Evan as his middle name and one time had to go to the hospital to get sand removed from his eye is back ! With AVENGENCE ! (Think thats how u spell it, got no spell check on Saras Norwegian computer, well there probly is but i dont know how to work it haha, moving right along though). So yeah been like 7 or so months since I have blogged and im sorry about that. My need for blogging comes and goes but hopefully this time it will stick, like heroin addiction ! ;)

So whats news in my life?? (I would ask you whats goin on in your life but nobody ever bloody comments on my blogs so I assume there is no need for me to be asking) Well Sara and I got married for the second time haha, we have already had a wedding a couple of years ago but that was basically for my visa so they wouldnt send me back home to Australia, which actually wouldnt have been so bad really considering a week or so ago here in Oslo it was fucking -20 degrees !!! MINUS FUCKING 20! We also bought and apartment here in Oslo in November ( I think thats when we moved in lol) so we are both bloody happy about that ! We managed to get a really good price because a mate of mine was actually selling the property ;) Oh Yeah ! Giddy up indeed !!! Other than the wedding and the apartment buying just kinda been doing the usual shit, travelling, drinking beers, hanging out with friends, oh I got a free snowboard but thats for another post, and other than that just getting older, uglier and wiser ! ;)

So i figured I would get back into blogging by telling u guys a bit about my wedding ! It was really fucking EPDAWG ! (for those that are new to my blog epdawg is a word me and my friend Rob made up, its a combination between epic and dawg if you didnt figure that one out for yourself) We actually got married in Thailand on Koh Samui island where we first met nearly five years ago now. It was great, we came in on a motherflippin elephant and the wedding was on the beach which was great ! I had shorts and no shoes on so i was happy as fuck haha ! So yeah the wedding was great, the sunset was great, the speeches were bloody great (mine of course being oscare worthy) the whole evening was just bloody awesome ! I will show ya a few photos now and give a little explanation for all of them ! :)

Ok so this first one is of us arriving at the venue at the beach on our bloody elephatnt ! How freaken epic does it look hey, you know why it looks epic? Beacause it really was ! First and possibly last time I will ever go on an elephant ! :)

This second photo is of us holding the wedding certificate, and I must say we both look pretty damn hot if I do say so myself haha :P

This next photo is of us walking back down the isle as a married couple, there was bloody heaps of flower petals getting thrown around, was really nice though ! :)

This next shot is just of the wedding party on the beach in the shape of a heart, oh its so nice and romantic isnt it ;) One of the best things about getting married in Thailand on the island we first met was that everybody says oh thats so nice and romantic, and it kinda is, the best part is that I didnt actually have to do anything to be romantic haha, just get married in a bloody great country with great people ! :)

This next one is of Sara and her two bridesmaids, doesnt she look beautiful, of course because I wouldnt settle for anything less! She looked beautiful and i knew she would, best thing about Sara is that she is that beatiful on the inside too ! (Its corny but its true haha)

This is just one of the 345,000 photos we took with the professional photographer on the beach after the wedding, just look at that god damn sunset, you can also make out a few more islands off in the distance, god damn epic place to get married ! We were just lucky there was no rain because in the days before the wedding there usually was a tropical storm about the time the wedding was supposed to start so we were lucky with that ! :)

This next photo is just of (from left to right). My best man Johan , my dad Keith, me of course (without me bloody beard mind you !!) and Johans mate Robin (yes thats a mans name in Scandanavia). This was early in the night so we werent to drunk yet, many many people got pretty smashed haha, I wont name names but they know who they are and to be honest it just added to the atmosphere and who whole evening! ;) EPDAWG INDEED !

Last of all this is a photo of Sara and I just as we finished our wedding dance (which we took three dance classes to learn and im happy to say we pretty much smashed it) We even ended with a kiss at the exact time the fireworks went off ! How bloody epic is that ! :)

We also did heaps of other cool shit while we were in Thailand and honeymooning in Cambodia, not least eating scorpions and tarantulas (vaginas and all). So next blog I will tell you guys a bit more about what we got up to for the rest of the trip cause god damn its epic in that part of the world, when you can get a draught beer for $0.50 on the beach in a cold glass you really cant loose can you haha, until then keep it real, glad to be back and I hope you guys ( the 5 People who read my blog) are happy too ! I will DEFINITELY keep it up more often this time !

That is all, Peace out, Catch ;)

Holy camel testicles Angela Merkel I just went past 12,000 views !!! :)

Hey hey hey all my loving and adoring fans ! Hope your all bloody great !
So yeah I just went past 12,000 page views for my blog !! :) . Whilst I am definitely not breaking any records or winning any awards I still think its pretty fucking epdawg !

Not really sure who reads my blog or if just a handfull of people read it and a shitload of other people get lost on the internet or possibly someone takes a lot of drugs and gets stuck in a constant loop of reloading my page constantly for hours upon hours... either way whatever it is I just wanted to say cheers (Australian for thanks) to the people who do read it. There are a few I know and a few that I have met through my blog and it makes me happy as fuck to know all my stupid ramblings are being read by people ... hopefully being appreciated aswell haha.

This is the list of the top places that have viewed my blog and how many views per country there is :) Kinda cool ! I know people obviously in Norway, Sweden, Australia and the United Kingdom but dont know anyone from those other countries. Which again is cool as fuck that people are reading my blog from all over the world. Even just this week people have read my blog from such random places as Mexico, India , Austria, Netherlands and Tanzania ... Tanzafuckingnia !! Pretty sweet! Just happy as fuck to be able to express my opinions and views and feelings about the world we live in.

Norway	3008
United States	2230
Australia	1551
United Kingdom	564
Sweden	524
France	398
Russia	378
Ukraine	369
Germany	316
Latvia	137

Anyways just a quick blog to say cheers and of course keep checking in every now and then to see what more stupid/crazy/informative and generally awesome things I have written on the interweb. You know now if you type Aussie in Oslo or even Australian in Oslo in Google my blog will come up first ! :). Kinda cool I reckon ! :) Cheers again and now i will reward you with some stupid but fucking hilarious meme I found on the internet today haha. Keep it real... like this kid !!
That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)

The Aussie in Austria ! (Vienna yo !)

Hey hey hey all my travel loving interweb mates I hope your all doing fanbloodytastic!!

So yeah as I said in earlier blogs Sara and I went on a trip around Central Europe not long ago to Hungary/Slovakia/Austria. This is my post about Austria !

Austria is a pretty cool place with a shiteload of history. It seems almost everywhere you look theres some old palace thats 600 years old and just looks fucking EPDAWG ! If you are not familiar with the term EPDAWG then let me explain it to you. Its a word me and my best mate Rob made up. Its a combination of Epic and Dawg , if you didnt notice already haha. Some ppl think its stupid and immature ... I just think its bloody EPDAWG ! Anyways moving right along...

This first picture is of me inside the Museum Of Natural History in Vienna. As you can see its old as fuck and god damn thats awesome ! Coming from Australia most of us bloody love old buildings etc becauase we have fuck all back home since we were only colonised in 1780 and even then it took ages for proper buildings to be built so to have a building of any significance in Australia that is over 200 years old is quite rare. Anyways this Museum of Natural History was motherflipping EPDAWG ! It had the biggest collection of meteors in the world (over 30,000) and of course heaps of other cool shit like fossils etc. I even bought myself a fossil which is called an Amonite and its from Madagascar and is 65 million years old!!!. All in all a bloody good couple of hours spent wondering around here !

This next picture is of the Amonite fossil I bought at the museum... its 65 million years old and its from Madagascar! How freaken cool is that shit ! Also on a side note the lady I bought it from had chest hair. Not a small amount either there was like 50 of them and they were black....anyways I reckon this fossil is cool as fuck ! :)

This next picture is of Sara and her Vienna Schnitzel which was absolutely incredibly motherflipping huge !!! Unless you come from America of course where this would probably be your appetiser haha. I also had one and I managed to finish it all .... took me and hour and I felt super sick afterwards but I beat it !!! Fuck me it tastes as good as it looks too !!! :)

 

 

This next picture is of me and some of my mates I found in the museum haha. I am almost as hairy as them ! :P To all those people who beleive that god magically created the world from fucking nothing how do you explain the existance of these people ... our ancestors !!!

This last picture is just of some awesome graffiti/street art/ whatever the fuck the people call it these days. I love this shit ! There was heaps of it along the canals of the Danube river... and it was god damn awesome ! 567,000 times better than just a concrete wall !! :)

All in all Austria was a pretty damn awesome place , although not as cheap as Hungary or Slovakia it made up for that in friendliness and history and food and just generally being freaken awesome ! Would highly recommend spending a weekend here. Oh and we went to an opera also ... Im Cultural as fuck ! haha.

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)

 

I HATE GOVERNMENTS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey hey hey all my government loving (hopefully not) mates. This post is going to be a huge rant so get ready !

Just now I read that the Australian government is going to spend $5.3 TRILLION dollars subsidising fossil fuel companies in Australia in a time when we are suppose to be moving AWAY from these old and outdated ways of procuring energy. The whole world has lost its fucking mind ! In a time when the Arctic is melting most probably due to the fact we have been abusing fossil fuels for so long in our ultimate wisdom we decide to drill for oil where the ice is melting !!!WHAT A FUCKING REDICULOUS AND SAD JOKE !!! The problem is its not a joke. It is REALITY. WHY WHY WHY !? I feel like such a dick to be living in these times when the whole world (a lot of it anyways) just doesnt give a single fuck about saving the environment but cares more about the destruction of it for a quick profit ... what the fuck are we going to do in 50 years when the whole world is fucked because of what we did NOW !? This next picture is a great example of why we need to get ride of fossil fuels , and NOW ! Its pretty much self explanitory !

I cant express how angry these things make me. Why is it this way ? Why cant more people see the light and see that we are killing the world . Not killing it slowly either , we are absolutely and positively raping it at an ever increasing rate! If you want to help in even a really small way can you please go and sign this petition which i will put in a link below ! Would be super awesome if you could ! The world these days is fucked but we cant just sit back and let it continue like this ... we need to stand up and say what we think. That we love our planet and we need to save it. Not kill it!!!

https://www.getup.org.au/campaigns/mining/global-fossil-fuel-subsidies/tell-treasurer-joe-hockey-to-end-fossil-fuel-subsidies-now

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)

We went to HUNGRY HUNGRY HUNGARY!!! ( Budapest is sick yo!)

Hey hey hey all my well travelled international interweb people. How the fuck is your person !? Hope your all good in the motherflipping hood ! ;)

Not to long ago Sara and I went on a trip to Hungary/Slovakia/Austria . This post is just about Hungary. Hungary is a small land locked country in Central Europe . Population is approximately 10 million, of which about 1.8 million live in Budapest where we went. It was a prettty damn cool place to visit with 500 year old epdawg buildings every bloody where you look !!! :) Yes I did say I was Hungry in Hungary many times !!

This first picture is just of some random awesome buildings we saw when we were on the tourist bus. The one on the right looks fucking epic I reckon !! Probably about 400 years old or some shit !! Crazy ! :)

This nexy picture is of the Sczechnyi bathhouse in Central Budapest ... these baths are thermally heated and are just a bit over 110 years old. It was fucking epic to say the least. In that huge building on the other side of the photo they have about 10 more smaller baths also thermally heated . They even had a bloody steam room that steamed mint smell, I lasted about 5 Seconds in there ... never understood saunas . Who the fuck wants to be hot !? I spent the first 26 years of my life before I moved here trying to cool down living in Brisbane ! Anyways these baths are cool as fuck !! Water temperature in there was a nice 37 degress celcius ! :)

This next Picture is of Budapest castle at night. Sara and I went on a romantic dinner cruise which I surprised Sara with ( im fucking cassanova yo!). Either way we went past the castle and I took a picture and this is it. Simple ;) Sweet castle though ay !

This next photo is of Sara and me in some small room in some huge club in Budapest . This club had 25 rooms and 7 bars ... and not many ppl because it was a Monday night haha. Ahwell we still had fun !

This next picture is of me having a go at archery when we went up to the castle. I will admit Sara beat me at it. Not next time though !

This last photo is a picture of the Parliament building (3rd biggest in the world) from the viewpoint of the castle overlooking the mighty Danube river, which is 2860 kilometres long and is Europes second longest river. See you can read my blog and learn shit aswell as look at and read a lot of other stupid shit! Winning !

All in all Budapest was a sweet place to travel. In general people were welcoming and friendly and spoke pretty good English thank god! Fuck me its cheap as fuck ! I went to the alcohol store and bought 2 bottles of wine and 4 big beers for $10 AUD ! (55 NOK) I would defeintely recommend visiting. But make sure to book a place in the centre of the city so you dont have to take taxis to much cause the taxis are cunts and they rip you off at any chance ... just like everywhere I suppose haha.

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)

Australia volume 3 . Giddy the fuck up ! ;)

Yo yo yo girls and boys hope your all doing swell . Thats a nice thing to say . Swell . Have a swell day . Yes . Nice . Anyways moving on . This is the third and last post about our trip back home to the land down under. Nothing more nothing less.- Here goes.

Picture of me and my little bro Jahnu before we went driving rally cars ... fuck yes it was good !!

So just after Christmas was my 30th birthday which was pretty epic. Got to go driving a Subaru WRX rally car at lunch time which was pretty sweet , although it was very wet ! Had a few ppl over for a party at me lovely mums place (which she kindly donated for the party) and it went off like a frog in a sock ! I reckon about 50 ppl showed up which was great and trippy also as I hadnt seen many of them in many years. Bloody good night that was ! :) Next follows a couple of pictures from my 30th birthday. The first one is of me and my sister Teagan and the second is of me and my best mate Rob. Who turned 29 on the same day. Giddy up ! :)

Me and Rob after a "coupleofbeers" ! ;)

After all of this it was our turn finally to go on our own small vacation to the whitsunday islands which is bloody paradise ... I think anyways ... it rained most the time we were there ! But there was about 2 days of sun out of 5 which aint great but better than nothing! There was just enough sun around for me to do my second skydive and hooly shit what a skydive ! Sara surprised me with this for my 30th birthday present and its by far the best present I have ever got ! ( Although she did buy me a tank drive the year before haha). Anyways skydive was epic ! Jumped from 15,000 feet I think ! Would do more skydiving if I had the Money ! (Costs about $500 a jump ... well worth it but im not that rich !). Other than that we just went back to Brisvegas and caught up with friends and family again before heading off to Seoul in South Korea for one night on our way home ! Which I will tell you about soon ! :)

These next two pictures are of an island we stayed on in the Whitsundays ... it was just a sweet ass island with only one resort and thats it ! Check out how nice it looked !! It was pretty damn good ... well the island was good, the resort was kinda shit but owel.

When I look back at these photos it makes me think that I really must be crazy to live in Norway when I could live back here ... ahwell the things you do for love hey ! Anyways I told Sara im moving back home at the latest in 2020 for a few years ... hopefully she will join ! ;)

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)