Farting is funny , I dont give a shit what other people say it is funny . As Louis CK says - "farting is fucking hilarious , your ass makes a toot sound and something comes out which smells like shit , you tell me how that isnt funny" hahahaha he got it in one.
So "apparently" farting is not supposed to happen at the dinner table my wife says but I say its almost best to fart at the dinner table (if there are no guests) its the innapropriatness of it which makes it even more funny hahaha . ( Sarez is gunna hate me for this haha)
Ever been at an important dinner with someone who you have to be really nice to and impress , like your parents in law or possibly even a work dinner or something and you know you have to do a huge fart and there is nothing you can do about it. Then you just decide to try and slide it out silently and after you succsesfully slide out the old silent fart you then realise that now it smells like shit from the area in which you are sitting so somehow you think its a great idea to try and breath really deeply in the hope that you can breathe all your fart in and nobody else will smell it , these people will never know how important you really think they are for you to be sitting there making silent farts and sniffing them up your own nose for their benifit ! One day at the end of a nice dinner or something I just want to say to someone - "I will have you know I have sniffed up 4 farts this evening because I am in your prescence and I dont think you really appreciate what I have done for you!"
The other day I was on the busy subway and I needed to let one rip so I initiated the silent fart routine ( you all know what that is so dont think im weird and fucked up - even the chicks , possibly especially the chicks ) Anyways I let one rip and it was pretty bad and I just sat there and basked in the disgusted glory of my fellow passengers because these days with everyone being so anti-social and all I can fart (silently of course) without the threat of a fellow passenger making such a comment as "Fuck me did someone just shit themselves!?" Most probably people will look around and then see me and just assume sterotypically that it was the big bearded man and they are true in thinking that but they will never say MUHAHAHAHAHA :P
Anyways just a few thoughts on farting as everybody farts and we should learn to embrace it and not turn our back on it like its some kind of pariah or such . Keep farting I say mates . May the fart be with you and those around you ! :)
That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)
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