IM GOING TO CROATIA IN 3 DAYS !!! WOOP

Hey hey hey all my internationally well travelled intraweb companions I hope you are all good and that you also will go to Croatia one day if you havent already because its fucking paradise yo ;)

So yeah I have been waiting and thinking about this holiday for so freaken long now and now that its only 3 days away im starting to become as excited as a morbidly obese kid when they are told they are going to the all you can eat dinner at Pizza Hut . So this holiday will actually be a MANcation as its just going to be me and my best mate Robbo who will arrive from Australia about 2 hours before me in Split ...we are goin for 3 weeks and we will be checking out so many places and drinking way to much beer and eating way to much pizza ...and do some touristy things like do some paragliding and hire kyaks and bikes and just take in all that is this wonderful country :)

We arrive in Split and will be staying there for 2 nights ( no doubt they will be huge because I havent seen Rob in over 18 months ) then after that we travel to the beautiful island of Hvar where Sara and I spend 4 nights there approximately a year ago and it was so good , here is a couple of pictures to give you an idea of how good it is ! ;)

                          This is what pretty much ALL the beaches look like in Croatia ;)

I took this photo of the port in Hvar when Sara and I was there around a year ago ...what a place !!!

 

 

So yeah after Hvar we off to another island called Korcula for 4 nights and then Dubrovnik for 6 nights and then Montenegro for a week or so ,apparently Montenegro is similar to Croatia but even MORE cheaper and it also has beautiful beaches and old towns etc :).  Croatia is relatively cheap ...well its really fucking cheap compared to Norway and its very cheap compared to Australia... a pint ( 500 ml ) of beer at a restuarant will cost you around $ 3 ( 15 NOK ) and a pizza will cost around $8-12 ( 40-60 NOK ) which is bloody cheap!! ....especially compared to Norway where you pay on average $13 for a fucking beer ...and around $35 for a pizza in a restuarant ... you can also buy beer in the supermarket of course and you can even buy 2 litre beers !! and they only cost $3.50 ( 18 NOK ) . Here is a picture of me and my 2 litre beer after about 1 hour of arriving and finding a supermarket haha ...damn it was soo good !!

 

All in all im super excited about this trip and I also must say a big thank you to my awesome girlfriend Sara for letting me go away with my best mate for 3 weeks and just have a guys holiday ... I will miss Sara a lot but at the same time its always good to have some time apart ....maybe 3 weeks is a bit long but we will manage ;) You know what they say ...abscence makes the heart grow fonder ...some shit like that anyways ;) . Well I hope you guys also have good holidays this year and if you are even thinking about going to Croatia then dont think and just GO !! Its bloody fucking awesonme !

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)

Dont worry im still here ;)

Hey hey hey all me intraweb mates long time no see ...well long time no I write some stupid shit and you read it haha .

So yeah I havent posted up on my blog in over a week and I feel bad because thats just lazy of me haha , but to be honest I havent really had much motivation to blog as I havent been working much and im saving money heaps for my trip to Croatia which begins in only 3 days !! Woop Woop ...but this is why  I havent had much to talk about because I have had no work and not much money so I have just been sitting on my ass watching T.V playing poker and starting to go a little insane haha .

Anyways that doesnt mean I still dont have a few things to talk about of course ;) . Here we go ;)
So in Norway they have the travelator things that you see at the airports ...they are like escalators but flat on the ground ...you know the ones ...anyways they have them in the central station here in Oslo and sometimes I wonder if people understand what they are for ....they are so you DONT have to walk your lazy ass up the slight incline leading to the main area of the train station ... but Norwegians being Norwegians they just think this means that they can walk twice as fast and therefore EVERYBODY walk on these things ... I was on one the other day and being a lazy ass Aussie I was just standing there waiting for the ride to finish when some stupid fuckwit barged past me about 2m from the fucking end .....LIKE IT MADE ANY FUCKING DIFFERENCE YOU STUPID COCKMUNCHER ....seriously he would have saved himself 1 second and he had to barge past me and knock me with his bag . If we had the same thing in the central station in Brisbane then NOBODY would walk and there is a possibility that there will be a stand selling beers and hotdogs along the way haha . Crazy Norks walking when there is absolutely no need ....suckers :P

Another thing is I saw a guy the other day walking with his headphones on and he was boppin his head to the beat and trying to be cool and thinking he was the man when really he just looked like a retarded pigeon that doesnt know how to walk properly haha .... im always walking and bopping my head and groovin to the beat thinking to myself , man if ppl can see me now they must think im so cool and hip and happening buuuuut im pretty sure I just look like a retarded pideon haha ....but I love to be groovin when im walking to I aint NEVER gunna stop ! If you ever see a big guy with a big beard who is walking down the street like a retarded pigeon whilst groovin to his music then thats me ! Give me a wave ! haha

Anyways thats about all the random shit I have to say at the moment but I promise to be more active in the future because otherwise ppl wont keep lookin at my blog and it would have been a big waste of time ...well not really but you get my point ! ;)

That is all, Peace out, Catch ;)

The picture here is by a guy called Gary Larson who writes/draws the comedy sketches called The Far Side and I love his comedy so I figured I would share it ;) :)

Reality T.V has officially become out of control !!

Hey hey hey all my reality T.V watching mates I hope your all enjoying your shows about the most stupid and retarded people on this planet !

So yeah last night I changed chanels and there was a show called "Zombie Apocalypse" and it was about all these crazy people who beleive there is going to be a zombie apocalypse so they spend basically all of their lives preparing for it .... jesus .... fucking ....christ .... this is so fucking unbeleivable but you know what the worst part is ....that people watch this show full of stupid American white trash who are literally INSANE and shouldnt even be considered normal human beings ...because they are NOT ! The crazy thing was the next chanel I changed to was called "Doomsday Preppers" and its about all these other crazy people in America who think the world is going to end in some way sometime soon and that they need to prepare for the impending apocalypse ...wether that might be a zombie apocalypse or a meteor or a massive tsunami, or maybe it will be a massive meteor OF zombies which will in turn create a huge tsunami of zombies that will destroy the world .....seriously people ....wat the fuck . These people are insane and have absolutely no place on our T.V ....these people should be put in mental institutions except in our insane society they are not only treated as normal but they are celebrated as such . I saw on an add for this doomsday preppers show that one guy boasts that he has 10,000 rolls of toilet paper .....if there is an apocalypse who the fuck cares about wiping your god damn ass you freak ....there was another guy who said he had something like 4,000 rounds of amunition and 4 years worth of food ....I know which place I would rather be at if a zombie apocalypse did happen to be ....whats the guy with the 10,000 rolls of toilet paper gunna do when the zombies come ???? Well we do know one thing and thats whatever toilet paper man will be doing he will be doing it with a clean ass and thats what really matters in an apocalypse !! Then theres the shows with these hugely overweight American trailer trash going around buying storage sheds and luggage and shit like that and its all just fucking bullshit ....Ive watched a few and they just straight out lie ...one guy was saying he could get $50 for a second hand electric drill that wasnt even top of the line ....man you can buy a new one at bunnings for $39 ....

Just look at these freaks ... We should be preparing for an Apocalypse of feral idiots becoming the majority because you know peope like these reproduce like rabits ...when they really should be castrated ...

The point is that its just becoming rediculous the whole reality T.V thing ... why the hell are millions of people watching the biggest looser ??? FUCKING WHY !!!??? Its just a bunch of hugely grossly obese people who have let their lives spiral so out of control that they eat 23 cheesburgers for breakfast and 4 litres of coke and think that thats normal and then when they get to be 300 kilograms only THEN do they think ...hang on ....this might be a problem ....ah il just go on the biggest looser and loose 200 kilograms and it will all be fine .....well it wont be and it shouldnt be ... HOW THE FUCK DO YOU GET TO 300 KILOGRAMS !!! 'Can anybody answer me this question ? Dont you think that when you pass 200 kilograms you might think ....shit man ....your fucking huge ....you cant keep doing this because its unhealthy and not normal in any way shape or form . I have ZERO sympathy for ALL of the people on this rediculous show and think that it normalises morbidly obese people and in turn creates a negative impact on all other people who also might be obese or becoming really big because they see these mostorous people come on this show and when they leave they have all lost about %50 of their body weight and look great ....for people to think that this behaviour is normal and is not a problem ....this is a big problem .

Anyways to be honest I could rave on about reality T.V until the cows came home ....even if somebody ATE all the cows ....but I think this is enough ;)

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)

We are going camping today !! Its like fucking Christmas up in here ! ;)

Hey hey hey all my fellow campers who smell terrible because you haven't bathed in 5 day's and have been learning to do poo's in the forest ... I hope that you brought enough toilet paper ;)

So yes today Sara and I are going camping in the Norwegian forest and it's gonna be so god damn awesome you can't even begin to comprehend the levels of awesomeness that will be achieved because it's inconceivable to even begin to try ... ok enough with that shit talking ;)

So in Norway they have about 356, 000 lakes and much wild forest that surrounds them ... One such lake is called Sognsvann and you can actually reach it via the T-Bane          ( subway ) but we won't be camping there as there are to many people so we will walk around 6 klms to another lake called Lille Ankulngen and find somewhere in the middle of the forest next to a waterfall or something like that . I mean seriously who the fuck wants to go camping in a camping ground with shitloads of screaming kids and judgemental adults getting up in your business ...  the whole idea of camping is to get away from the insanity that is big city life and just immerse yourself in nature and enjoy what the world has to offer ... Saras first response was ... wat are we going to do about our phones and I just laughed and said well you just turn them off then don't you ;) Sara is very adventurous in many ways but she's the first one to admit that camping is not her best idea of adventure, lol 

We have our own tent of course and we also own a big tarp ( big durable plastic sheet thing ) which I will string up between some trees with some rope when we get there to make a dry area to keep the rain away and it's gunna be the most fully sick chill out area ever because we have folding chairs and that = DAS BOMB YO !! ;)  In the evening I will also be making a small fire so we can cook food and also have a fire whilst having a few cold beverages and a smoke ;) ... nothing better really :) . Now of course this fire will be safe as I have made many before and I will dig a deep pit and then surround that with rocks and last of all clear all the area surrounding the fire of sticks , leaves and anything else that might catch on fire :) .In Australia they sometimes call me Ranger Lachlan ... true story ;) :P 

Camping is so good in so many ways and I can't believe it's taken this long to go camping in Norwegialand as the landscape here is just breathtaking and the purity of the countryside/forest/lakes is just unbelievable . In Norway you can camp anywhere unless its farmland or government property for 48 hours and it's free and that's so bloody awesome ! :)

It almost feels like Christmas for me im so bloody excited ... im not working today but still I woke up at 6:30 thinking about how awesome it's going to be and thinking I need to write a list of things to take because when your 12klms return  walk from the nearest shop its a bit annoying if you happen to forget something ... and also I NEED this to go very smoothly and for Sara to be happy because she needs to enjoy it a lot so it's easier to convince her to go again .

 Some people told me there might be wolves in this area of the forest but im hoping they are just trying to scare me ... im taking the biggest and sharpest knife we have just incase yo ;) Wish me luck ... Although we wrestle crocodiles back home so a big dog ain't gunna scare me ;) :P .

I hope you all have a god damn fucking awesome weekend everyone and remember if you do ever get attacked by a crocodile then poke it really hard in the eyes ... it's your only chance .

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)

This is picture of where me and one of my best mate's Jacko go and camp in a place called Pottsville ... the beach is about a 50m walk behind our tent ... and you notice our future fire on the bottom right of the photo ... oh yeah ... that is LIVING !! :) :D 

The stupidity of humanity never ceases to amaze me ... the world's full of idiots ! :(

Hey hey hey all my Geordie Shore watching mates I hope that your all good and that all your reality T.V shows are going fucking awesome ! ;)

So the thing is the world is fucked and nobody ( most people ) don't seem to notice or care because they are to ignorant and stupid to realize . You know how I can tell ... many many ways as I will explain now ... ok so first of all have you seen this reality  T.V show called      " catfish " it's about loosers who get screwed over by internet " relationships " ... so they ask the looser , have you talked on the phone to this person you have been in a " relationship " for 6 months with? ... no ... have you ever met this person in real life ?... no ... have you ever  Skyped or video chatted live with this person ? ...NO ... WELL ITS NOT A FUCKING RELATIONSHIP AND YOU DESERVE TO BE FUCKED OVER YOU STUPID LOOSER !! Honestly this is possibly the worst show ever because it glorifies these low life loosers and attemps to normalise the fact that they believe they are in some kind of meaningful relationship when really it's just some morbidly obese teenager sitting at HIS computer pretending to be some hot chick because it makes him feel wanted and needed by someone. The level of ignorance which must be dwelling inside both of the individuals in this "relationship" just blows my mind ... the worst part is that this show is popular and is on MTV ... yes I will admit I watched it one time when I was really bored, mainly out of curiosity and I will never watch it again because it was just as I described above .... unbelievably fucking stupid and retarded in so many ways !

So the next thing is this fucking Jersey Shore bullshit and yes I have ranted about my hatred for this show and all shows alike but I just hate it so much im thinking of making a reality show about how much I hate reality shows ... whoever created big brother should be publicly stoned to death to hopefully act as a detterant against people creating more of these ghastly shows ... not are they only terrible and just obscenely bad in so many ways but they are actually encouraging the youth to become what these people really are ... materialistic douche bags with the intelligence of a house cat and the social skills of a 4 year old hermit crab ... anyways enough with that because I could go on all day about those stupid degenerates of society ... but we don't want that do we ;)

Ok so the last thing on my complaining rants agenda today is this new and absolutely ridiculous new craze called Candy Crush Saga ... which is basically an app game which is exactly the same as Tetris but just with candy and fruit instead of the blocks of Tetris . Yesterday I was sitting at a bus stop and a man who must have been about 60 was playing Candy Crush Saga on his phone and that's when I began to realize how fucked the world really is ... ITS A FUCKING GAME DESIGNED FOR TEENAGE GIRLS WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU PLAYING IT OLD MAN !!!!!!! I can't really begin to understand why masses upon masses of people play this childish and unbelievably shit game but I can only assume that this is the beginning of the end for this world and all it's inhabitants .

Ok last thing now , I play poker online a fair bit ... you could call it a hobby of mine ... and im pretty good also ... just recently I was ranked    6, 300 out of 900, 000 people who play the same kind of sit and go games that I play ... well I tell ya a lot is about skill and a fair bit about luck but it's also helpful when the stupidest people on this planet can upload money onto their account and waste it online because they don't have a life and they have nothing better to do ... I come across many bad players but none stupider than a guy I saw yesterday ... his poker name was " StonedBoy75" and he proceeded to loose around $35 in about 20 minutes through some of the worst poker decisions I have ever seen ... who goes all in pre flop with Q9 off suit ! ... he did of course .... anyways im happy for him to be there as it makes winning money a lot easier ;)  

I could go on for a lot longer about the endless list of downfalls in society but it just makes me depressed and angry ... in saying all this im not saying everything and everyone in the world is fucked because that's not the case as I know many good people who aren't ignorant and are not just following the herd like most of the world seems to want to do. Cheers to all you people who aren't ruining the gene pool of the planet and who think for themselves and are individuals ... because there's a lot of them out there ... just not nearly enough . ;)

That is all , Peace out , Catch ! ;)

Honestly just look at this game ... ITS FOR TEENAGE GIRLS NOT 60 YEAR OLD MEN !!!! 

Don't you fucking call me ignorant !

Hey hey hey all my 13 readers I hope ur all good and that life is good :)

Ok so here's the story . I was at a good mate of mines party on Friday night and I was having a great time meeting many different ppl and talking shit and having a laugh until I decided to introduce myself to this one girl and I asked her where she was from ... she replied she was African American so I asked where in Africa her family came from ... and then it was on because she called me ignorant and a racist which I just couldn't handle and got into a big argument trying to convince this stupid bitch that I was neither ... how the fuck can I be racist when im at my black Brazillian mates party and im talking with my Egyptian mate ... Azul is one of my best mates and has been since I arrived in Norway and to call me ignorant and racist at his party is actually the height of ignorance you stupid attention seeking whore . Anyway in the end I realized that she was so stupid and actually hugely ignorant herself that I was never going to win the argument and so I said to her im sorry I said what I said and it was ignorant ( even if I knew it wasn't ) and will she accept my apologies and shake my hand . I did this on 2 occasions but was just greeted with actual yelling that I was an ignorant racist so I just called her a bitch and left it at that ... the worst thing is she then decided it was her mission to tell the whole party im a ignorant racist asshole ... then not to long after that I was talking to a chick who had a shaved head except for a tiny bit of long hair and I asked why she dressed like a lesbian ... not such a great thing to say and I realized this immediately and said sorry but I didn't really mean that ... but that didn't matter because she had already been informed that im a racist ignorant asshole and so she preceeded to blow up and make a huge scene out of it ... The worst thing is my mate asked me why i was causing all this trouble and making the whole party political ... which was just ridiculous as I hadn't mentioned politics at all ( although I did have an Anti American shirt on ) but either way he took their sides and blamed me and said I act like a child when in drunk so I just said fuck you man and decided to say goodbye to the ppl I was talking to and just left . 

So last night my mate Azul msged me and asked me if I wanted to come and have a beer at a bar around the corner from my place here in Oslo and even though im pissed off with him im not one to hold a grudge so I said yeah why not ... then as I was having a good time talking to some girl who I had been talking to at this party on Friday then this stupid bitch turned up and I just felt like leaving but I figured maybe she had calmed down and would be reasonable so decided to stay with those ppl and see what she said ... you know what she said ... she just came right up to me and in front of the ppl I was talking to called me a racist asshole ... I was so fucking angry I just had to walk away ... so I did ... but holy shit in hindsight I just wish I had said to her no YOU are the racist ignorant asshole and also a huge hypocrite and an attention seeking whore ... but I didn't . I can't believe that there are people like this in the world and you know it doesn't surprise me one bit that she's American because they seem to be the most ignorant race in the world ... I mean just look at their history ... anyways I wasn't gunna say anything about this whole bullshit scenario but when this shit went down last night I had to vent my anger somewhere so I figured id write a blog post about it lol .

Im no racist and im definitely not ignorant and to be called both by a stupid whore really got my blood boiling but hopefully now I have vented my anger it won't bother me to much anymore . Un-be-leivable !!!

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)

This is the shirt I was wearing on Friday night ... next time il just wear a normal shirt so people will just see me as part of the flock and then I won't cause trouble or arguments because I express my opinions ... wat a fucked up world we live in ! :( 

Some people have said my blog is boring ... to them I say fuck you , rocks are boring ! ;)

Hey hey hey all my mind numbingly bored blog readers I hope ur not all dying of boredom from reading my blog ! ;)

So I casually asked a mate of mine ( who shall not be named )  a while ago if they had read my blog and they said , " yeah it's not bad but its a bit boring " and they went on to tell me about a blog they read by a guy who has a top 100 things he needs to do before he dies and it contains things like , delivering a baby , flying a helicopter , surfing a 30 ft wave in Hawaii , and of course he's good looking, intelligent , charming and funny , and in my view he's just someone who I don't really wanna know about cause he just be making us all feel bad and like we are wasting our lives and that we are just a pathetic excuse for a human being who's only and best use in life will be to feed the worms when we die and are buried 6ft under .

I think people want to read a blog by someone a little bit less aspiring and motivated because as I said it just makes them feel uncomfortable about the fact that their lives seem insignificant and useless in comparison . So that's where I come in and just write a whole lotta bullshit and express my opinions in a way that makes you the reader feel superior to me in every which way so hopefully you keep coming back for more ;)

You know it really amazes me what people will read and what are my most popular blogs because the ones I think will be most viewed are mostly ignored and when I go on a rant about Facebook and all the annoying things people do on there people love it and when I post up about anything to do with world politics or the war in Syria it basically gets ignored ... maybe I should just give in and make a new blog and target a specific audience and I will call the new blog " Things that are stupid on Facebook but aren't really because hashtags are so awesome and really useful... so useful in fact im gunna name my first baby #Hashtag i 2.1 <3" ... but seriously wats up with this hearts bullshit when ppl write a < and then a 3 and call it a heart ... it just looks stupid and not really like a heart at all .... so I have decided to make my own abbreviated symbol and make up its meaning . This is the new cool symbol all the stupid hipster dooface kids will be using in no time !

}×÷₩

And it means  ZOMBIE CROCODILE APOCALYPSE ( aka  the ACROCALYPSE! ) Because as you can see the first character ( } ) is a zombie and the x is a crocodile and the division sign obviously means apocalypse ( dah ) and the ₩ is just there to make it more appealing to all the idiot kids who will be using it . Have u guys seen the younger generation ... I see this shit first hand as my 17 stepsister is on my Facebook and I see her upload a new profile picture daily and usually ( every time ) its just an old picture of herself which she is wearing some skanky black mini dress standing next to some retard looking guy who has a fake tan and his name is Tdawgnutz and he doesn't bend the brim of  his hat  ( baseball cap ) and somehow thinks its cool just to wear it flat like hipster doofus and not curl the brim what so ever ... I mean I think im getting old  by saying this shit but if getting old means I can disassociate myself with the tragedy that is the younger generations then god dam bring on the lawn bowls , bingo and nappies ... anyways I think that's enough for now lol . Hopefully I didn't bore you all to death and that maybe you might consider returning to my blog page to read about my mediocre life and opinions . Cheers as always mofo's!  :) ;)

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;) 

Even this baby is bored of my blog ... and it can't even read yet !! Well to you baby person I say I hope you die in the }×÷₩ ! HA ! ;)