Holy camel testicles Angela Merkel I just went past 12,000 views !!! :)

Hey hey hey all my loving and adoring fans ! Hope your all bloody great !
So yeah I just went past 12,000 page views for my blog !! :) . Whilst I am definitely not breaking any records or winning any awards I still think its pretty fucking epdawg !

Not really sure who reads my blog or if just a handfull of people read it and a shitload of other people get lost on the internet or possibly someone takes a lot of drugs and gets stuck in a constant loop of reloading my page constantly for hours upon hours... either way whatever it is I just wanted to say cheers (Australian for thanks) to the people who do read it. There are a few I know and a few that I have met through my blog and it makes me happy as fuck to know all my stupid ramblings are being read by people ... hopefully being appreciated aswell haha.

This is the list of the top places that have viewed my blog and how many views per country there is :) Kinda cool ! I know people obviously in Norway, Sweden, Australia and the United Kingdom but dont know anyone from those other countries. Which again is cool as fuck that people are reading my blog from all over the world. Even just this week people have read my blog from such random places as Mexico, India , Austria, Netherlands and Tanzania ... Tanzafuckingnia !! Pretty sweet! Just happy as fuck to be able to express my opinions and views and feelings about the world we live in.

Norway	3008
United States	2230
Australia	1551
United Kingdom	564
Sweden	524
France	398
Russia	378
Ukraine	369
Germany	316
Latvia	137

Anyways just a quick blog to say cheers and of course keep checking in every now and then to see what more stupid/crazy/informative and generally awesome things I have written on the interweb. You know now if you type Aussie in Oslo or even Australian in Oslo in Google my blog will come up first ! :). Kinda cool I reckon ! :) Cheers again and now i will reward you with some stupid but fucking hilarious meme I found on the internet today haha. Keep it real... like this kid !!
That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)

The Aussie in Austria ! (Vienna yo !)

Hey hey hey all my travel loving interweb mates I hope your all doing fanbloodytastic!!

So yeah as I said in earlier blogs Sara and I went on a trip around Central Europe not long ago to Hungary/Slovakia/Austria. This is my post about Austria !

Austria is a pretty cool place with a shiteload of history. It seems almost everywhere you look theres some old palace thats 600 years old and just looks fucking EPDAWG ! If you are not familiar with the term EPDAWG then let me explain it to you. Its a word me and my best mate Rob made up. Its a combination of Epic and Dawg , if you didnt notice already haha. Some ppl think its stupid and immature ... I just think its bloody EPDAWG ! Anyways moving right along...

This first picture is of me inside the Museum Of Natural History in Vienna. As you can see its old as fuck and god damn thats awesome ! Coming from Australia most of us bloody love old buildings etc becauase we have fuck all back home since we were only colonised in 1780 and even then it took ages for proper buildings to be built so to have a building of any significance in Australia that is over 200 years old is quite rare. Anyways this Museum of Natural History was motherflipping EPDAWG ! It had the biggest collection of meteors in the world (over 30,000) and of course heaps of other cool shit like fossils etc. I even bought myself a fossil which is called an Amonite and its from Madagascar and is 65 million years old!!!. All in all a bloody good couple of hours spent wondering around here !

This next picture is of the Amonite fossil I bought at the museum... its 65 million years old and its from Madagascar! How freaken cool is that shit ! Also on a side note the lady I bought it from had chest hair. Not a small amount either there was like 50 of them and they were black....anyways I reckon this fossil is cool as fuck ! :)

This next picture is of Sara and her Vienna Schnitzel which was absolutely incredibly motherflipping huge !!! Unless you come from America of course where this would probably be your appetiser haha. I also had one and I managed to finish it all .... took me and hour and I felt super sick afterwards but I beat it !!! Fuck me it tastes as good as it looks too !!! :)

 

 

This next picture is of me and some of my mates I found in the museum haha. I am almost as hairy as them ! :P To all those people who beleive that god magically created the world from fucking nothing how do you explain the existance of these people ... our ancestors !!!

This last picture is just of some awesome graffiti/street art/ whatever the fuck the people call it these days. I love this shit ! There was heaps of it along the canals of the Danube river... and it was god damn awesome ! 567,000 times better than just a concrete wall !! :)

All in all Austria was a pretty damn awesome place , although not as cheap as Hungary or Slovakia it made up for that in friendliness and history and food and just generally being freaken awesome ! Would highly recommend spending a weekend here. Oh and we went to an opera also ... Im Cultural as fuck ! haha.

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)

 

I HATE GOVERNMENTS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey hey hey all my government loving (hopefully not) mates. This post is going to be a huge rant so get ready !

Just now I read that the Australian government is going to spend $5.3 TRILLION dollars subsidising fossil fuel companies in Australia in a time when we are suppose to be moving AWAY from these old and outdated ways of procuring energy. The whole world has lost its fucking mind ! In a time when the Arctic is melting most probably due to the fact we have been abusing fossil fuels for so long in our ultimate wisdom we decide to drill for oil where the ice is melting !!!WHAT A FUCKING REDICULOUS AND SAD JOKE !!! The problem is its not a joke. It is REALITY. WHY WHY WHY !? I feel like such a dick to be living in these times when the whole world (a lot of it anyways) just doesnt give a single fuck about saving the environment but cares more about the destruction of it for a quick profit ... what the fuck are we going to do in 50 years when the whole world is fucked because of what we did NOW !? This next picture is a great example of why we need to get ride of fossil fuels , and NOW ! Its pretty much self explanitory !

I cant express how angry these things make me. Why is it this way ? Why cant more people see the light and see that we are killing the world . Not killing it slowly either , we are absolutely and positively raping it at an ever increasing rate! If you want to help in even a really small way can you please go and sign this petition which i will put in a link below ! Would be super awesome if you could ! The world these days is fucked but we cant just sit back and let it continue like this ... we need to stand up and say what we think. That we love our planet and we need to save it. Not kill it!!!

https://www.getup.org.au/campaigns/mining/global-fossil-fuel-subsidies/tell-treasurer-joe-hockey-to-end-fossil-fuel-subsidies-now

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)

We went to HUNGRY HUNGRY HUNGARY!!! ( Budapest is sick yo!)

Hey hey hey all my well travelled international interweb people. How the fuck is your person !? Hope your all good in the motherflipping hood ! ;)

Not to long ago Sara and I went on a trip to Hungary/Slovakia/Austria . This post is just about Hungary. Hungary is a small land locked country in Central Europe . Population is approximately 10 million, of which about 1.8 million live in Budapest where we went. It was a prettty damn cool place to visit with 500 year old epdawg buildings every bloody where you look !!! :) Yes I did say I was Hungry in Hungary many times !!

This first picture is just of some random awesome buildings we saw when we were on the tourist bus. The one on the right looks fucking epic I reckon !! Probably about 400 years old or some shit !! Crazy ! :)

This nexy picture is of the Sczechnyi bathhouse in Central Budapest ... these baths are thermally heated and are just a bit over 110 years old. It was fucking epic to say the least. In that huge building on the other side of the photo they have about 10 more smaller baths also thermally heated . They even had a bloody steam room that steamed mint smell, I lasted about 5 Seconds in there ... never understood saunas . Who the fuck wants to be hot !? I spent the first 26 years of my life before I moved here trying to cool down living in Brisbane ! Anyways these baths are cool as fuck !! Water temperature in there was a nice 37 degress celcius ! :)

This next Picture is of Budapest castle at night. Sara and I went on a romantic dinner cruise which I surprised Sara with ( im fucking cassanova yo!). Either way we went past the castle and I took a picture and this is it. Simple ;) Sweet castle though ay !

This next photo is of Sara and me in some small room in some huge club in Budapest . This club had 25 rooms and 7 bars ... and not many ppl because it was a Monday night haha. Ahwell we still had fun !

This next picture is of me having a go at archery when we went up to the castle. I will admit Sara beat me at it. Not next time though !

This last photo is a picture of the Parliament building (3rd biggest in the world) from the viewpoint of the castle overlooking the mighty Danube river, which is 2860 kilometres long and is Europes second longest river. See you can read my blog and learn shit aswell as look at and read a lot of other stupid shit! Winning !

All in all Budapest was a sweet place to travel. In general people were welcoming and friendly and spoke pretty good English thank god! Fuck me its cheap as fuck ! I went to the alcohol store and bought 2 bottles of wine and 4 big beers for $10 AUD ! (55 NOK) I would defeintely recommend visiting. But make sure to book a place in the centre of the city so you dont have to take taxis to much cause the taxis are cunts and they rip you off at any chance ... just like everywhere I suppose haha.

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)

Australia volume 3 . Giddy the fuck up ! ;)

Yo yo yo girls and boys hope your all doing swell . Thats a nice thing to say . Swell . Have a swell day . Yes . Nice . Anyways moving on . This is the third and last post about our trip back home to the land down under. Nothing more nothing less.- Here goes.

Picture of me and my little bro Jahnu before we went driving rally cars ... fuck yes it was good !!

So just after Christmas was my 30th birthday which was pretty epic. Got to go driving a Subaru WRX rally car at lunch time which was pretty sweet , although it was very wet ! Had a few ppl over for a party at me lovely mums place (which she kindly donated for the party) and it went off like a frog in a sock ! I reckon about 50 ppl showed up which was great and trippy also as I hadnt seen many of them in many years. Bloody good night that was ! :) Next follows a couple of pictures from my 30th birthday. The first one is of me and my sister Teagan and the second is of me and my best mate Rob. Who turned 29 on the same day. Giddy up ! :)

Me and Rob after a "coupleofbeers" ! ;)

After all of this it was our turn finally to go on our own small vacation to the whitsunday islands which is bloody paradise ... I think anyways ... it rained most the time we were there ! But there was about 2 days of sun out of 5 which aint great but better than nothing! There was just enough sun around for me to do my second skydive and hooly shit what a skydive ! Sara surprised me with this for my 30th birthday present and its by far the best present I have ever got ! ( Although she did buy me a tank drive the year before haha). Anyways skydive was epic ! Jumped from 15,000 feet I think ! Would do more skydiving if I had the Money ! (Costs about $500 a jump ... well worth it but im not that rich !). Other than that we just went back to Brisvegas and caught up with friends and family again before heading off to Seoul in South Korea for one night on our way home ! Which I will tell you about soon ! :)

These next two pictures are of an island we stayed on in the Whitsundays ... it was just a sweet ass island with only one resort and thats it ! Check out how nice it looked !! It was pretty damn good ... well the island was good, the resort was kinda shit but owel.

When I look back at these photos it makes me think that I really must be crazy to live in Norway when I could live back here ... ahwell the things you do for love hey ! Anyways I told Sara im moving back home at the latest in 2020 for a few years ... hopefully she will join ! ;)

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)

Australia volume 2 yo !

Yo yo yo all my interweb reading mates how the fuck are ya !? Hope your all bloody good !

So yeah after we came back from Moreton Island we went on a big road trip to visit my relatives who live in Orange in New South Wales which is about 2200 kilometres return trip ... pretty big road trip ! Was bloody awesome ! There is nothing better than not actually knowing where you are going to stop but just choosing a town from the map and saying , yep we will stay there ! On the way down we stayed in a town called Armidale and caught up with my cousin Mick who lives there. We slept in his mates bed which was bloody comfortable but also weird sleeping in the room and bed of someone who we had never met ...but it was free and it was comfortable so it was good ! Then after that we stopped at a town called Dubbo and we stayed at some awesome old pub in the middle of town. We even got a free upgrade on our room which meant we didnt have to use the nasty shared bathrooms haha. Then we stayed in Orange for a night and caught up with Family which was bloody awesome cause I hadnt seen many of them in over 5 years !

This is just some random dead tree I saw and took a photo of ... I reckon its really awesome and really refelects the Australian outback ! :)

 

 

A cockatoo at some small and kinda weird zoo in the middle of nowhere in the middle of New South Wales !

 An emu in the same middle of nowhere zoo !

On the way back we stayed in a place called Moree. Apparently there are a heap of hot water springs due to the artisanal waters or whatever it is around the area. We found a half dodgy motel on the side of the highway which had a pool and spa with warm water coming up directly from the springs ! Bloody epdawg it was !!!

Sara in the spa pool in Moree ... the hot water came up from 642m underneath the earth ... awesome !

Welcome to COONABARABRAN !!! ;)

 

Welcome to BOGGABILLA !! ;)

 

Christmas day in Australia !

Other than those main places we stayed we also went through countless small towns and medium sized towns and they were all pretty damn cool. Seriously nothing better than rocking up to some small town of 3000 people and going to the local pub for lunch and order a huge steak and a nice cold beer. Fuck me I wish I had both of those things right now ! All in all just another epic road trip that Sara and I have been on in Australia. Nothing compared to the 6000 kilometre road trip we did the first time Sara came to Australia but it was still bloody awesome !! :)

That is all, Peace out, Catch ;)

Went back home to Australia for christmas ... was fucken EPDAWG!!! :)

Yo yo yo how the bloody hell are ya my fellow warm blooded mammal friends ?

So yeah Sara and I went back to Australia for a month in December/January and holy fuck me it was good ! To be honest it was a bit surreal to be back home because it was over 2.5 years ago I left to move my ass to bloody Oslo of all places.

One thing that I did realise about being back home is that people are just motherflipping awesome ... everywhere u go people are friendly and they are actually genuinely friendly . Not just friendly because they think they need to be. Even when Sara and I were in some stupid girly clothes shop we ended up talking to the chick behind the counter for about five minutes because she asked us a few questions ... its bloody awesome . Even when we were on the bus on the way home at nearly every single bus stop whenever anyone got off they always looked up and waved to the driver to say thank you ... that shit would NEVER happen in Oslo!!!.

So we ended up doing a whole lot of cool shit back home. Which was sweet ! The first cool thing we did was go camping on an island called Moreton Island which is a huge sand island (2nd biggest sand island in the world!) just off the coast of Brisbane for a weekend with a few of my good mates and Family (There was 12 of us all up). What a fucken great trip it was !!! I love nothing more than being away from the city just camping and chilling and doing sweet shit like surfing or fishing or bushwalking or just having a few beers on the beach listening to some sweet tunes just talking shit ! Was a great weekend and I also invented a new alcoholic beverage ! Just mix some goon (cheap wine) and some lemonade and then chuck a couple of teaspoons of coffee in there ! I was feeling a bit tired on the second night after a big night on the first night so i figured I would try this new drink which I have appropriately named GOONOFFEE!!!! To be honest,  yes it tastes as bad as you think . But after that you do get stimulated and get a buzz so in the end it was bloody good !! I could write a heap about Moreton and how much I love it but I reckon just putting a few pictures up here will be better at explaning the awesomeness of Moreton !

This first Picture is of all the shipwrecks near the beach when you come in on the big car ferry . In the 1970s the local council sunk a whole heap of ships to form an artificial reef where you can snorkel and there is about literally 56 million Fish Down there !!!! :) So awesome !!

 

Sara and I next to a whale jaw bone !!!

Bloody huge it was ... and smelly haha

 

 

Ra, Joal , Me and Patrick chilling at honeymoon bay !  

 





 

 

 

Sara With one huge bloody jellyfish !! I got stung by a few of these when we went bodyboarding that same day !! Not so much fun, but not that bad cause they arent poisonous or anything ... still hurts a bit !

 

This is a selfie of us taking a selfie ... kinda . Me and one of my best mates Jacko taking a picture of our sexy asses !! ;)

 

 

 

All in all it was a freaken great weekend of laughs and adventure and just good times in general ! Because so bloody much shit went down in Australia I will have to write a few seperate blogs about it so I can fit in all the awesome !! :) :) :)

 

That is all , Peace out, Catch ;)

 

 

 

 

 

Whats the bloody deal with .... EVERYTHING !

Yo yo yo im here to complain my ass off so if you dont wanna hear it then I suppose you should just fuck right off haha :P

Anyways since I have had my knee surgery I have had problems getting money from the government assistance program here in Norway and this means that I have zero dollars . This combined with the fact that I have basically had to stay at home for two months while my knee recovers is making Lachlan go something something (motherflipping insane!). So I figured I could write a whole lot of shit on the internet about shit things or people and it would make me feel better ! Here goes :P

Ok I do admit I look at my phone a fair bit everyday but one thing I dont do is look at it all the time when I am with someone . This means so much to me that if Sara and I are out and I happen to look at my phone and she starts looking at hers I gotta put mine down because I dont wanna be one of those couples who  just go out and stare at their phones . Fuck me people look up from your phones its way more exciting !!! For example yesterady I got my ass off the couch to go down the shops which are about 200m away from our apartment and I came across some middle aged crazy(assumed) guy who was walking down the street with boxing gloves on and and a bottle of detergent in his hand and he was pretending to fight all the cars driving past , not sure what he was trying to do , maybe punch the cars clean haha . We need more people like him in the world , just as long as they dont go raping and killing people . Crazy people are fine haha.

See look how crazy and awesome this dude is!!! More of him I say !!! :)

The whole world is fucked. If you look at world politics over a long period of time and then look at where we are at now you could realise that the world is unbeleivably rooted ! Here are a few examples of why the world is fucked . The war in Syria . It started when I met my now wife Sara about 4 years ago and in the first year they were reporting all the atrocities that were being committed. (including the chemical weapons attack on a School and a bombing raid on a line of People trying to get bread) These are only two small examples of what has happened and is STILL happening in Syria . The only reason is that we dont hear about it anymore because the people who be (Media/politicians) dont think we need to hear about it anymore because it doesnt suit their agenda.

Next reason is one that I really cant get my head around .Unless you have been living under a rock or are EXTREMELY ignorant you would know that all the worlds ice caps are melting and its most probably due to climate change. Now seeing as though all the ice caps are melting due to the over use of fossil fuels we have decided its a fucking great idea to drill for oil UNDER the ice caps that have melted probably (99% sure) from a direct action of us drilling the fucking oil in the first place .... STUPIDEST FUCKING IDEA EVER !!! Its the same as if you ... well I cant even think of an example to compare it to because its just so fucking stupid haha.

Yeah so the worlds fucked but hey we still gotta live in it . I may come accross as a bit of an angry dude but really im just saying what I think. Im still happy . Have never been happier to be honest !. But im also very dissapointed and angry at how the world is going these days . I hope my kids and their peers are gunna be able to do magic because once our generation is finished raping the world its gunna need some magic to fix it. Oh and btw I promise my next blog will be about Our trip to Australia ... which was fucking epdawg ! I did a skydive over the bloody whitsundays ! :P

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)

Had knee surgery... now I blog about it ! :P

Yo yo yo what the fuck is up all my hospital loving fellow humanoids !

So yeah been needing to have my left knee reconstructed for about 5 years now and about two months ago it finally bloody happened ! I remember when I went for my MRI scan here in Oslo and I was talking to the radiologist after and he looked at the MRI and said "yep theres defeinetely something wrong there" . Well no fucken DAH Einstein haha . When my doctor actually saw it he asked if I was in a car accident because the damage was so bad. In the end I had two ligaments that were snapped . Both my ACL and MCL . Without going into to much detail but because they had to replace my MCL also it became quite a big surgery as compared to just having my ACL fixed . Here is a photo of what it looked like after the surgery :) This is actually a couple of weeks after the surgery. Fucken bloody huge scar on my knee and down the other side of my knee. Cool . Scars . I swear if I tell people in Europe I got the scars wresting crocodiles they would actually just beleive me even though the scars look anything like a crocodile bite haha :P

Because the surgery was so big I had to have a bloody epidural . For those who are not aware what this is its when they get a massive needle and stab it INTO your spine and inject all the painkilling drugs through there via a drip . Of course being my luck it didnt work so well on the leg that had surgery but it worked great on my other one haha. Tell ya what was not fun was when I got up and I moved my back and then lay back down and the needle had moved in my spine . You know how it feels when your lying on something uncomfortable, try lying on something uncomfortable thats actually a needle stabbing into your spine haha . Fun Level ZERO !

This was literally a picture of me as soon as I woke up after surgery . Had to stay in hospital for 4 nights after and I had a pipe shoved into the end of my dick so i could piss in a bag . It was not fun . Im just glad I got a window bed so I could look out at the other hospital buidlings . it was great ! ;)

All in all it was ok to have surgery . Hurt a fair bit more than I expected but in the end its gunna be awesome because in a year from now I can blog about how good it is to be back playing sport and not just be a useless dude with a fucked knee ! The shit thing was that I thought they would give me some heaps good drugs to take home and I could just sit around for a couple of months of my head having a great time on the couch . Not so . The ones I got did releive the pain, mostly , but they didnt get ya high or anything . Not that I need to be high I just thought it was a good reward for putting up with all the pain haha :P Remember kids . Drugs are bad mmmmmmmkay ;)

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)

Flying camel testicles Optimus Prime I havent blogged in AGES !!!

Yo yo yo wat the fuck is up all my interwebblogreadingpeople !! ;) Sorry I havent blogged in ages ... been lazy tbh . No point in lying haha just been bloody lazy !

A fair bit has happened since I blogged last so I figured I would tell you all about it ;) The biggest thing that happened probably was that Sara and I went back to Australia ! It was freaken epdawg !. So epdawg that I think I will make a seperate blog about it ! :) Oh I had a knee reconstruction but thats also another story ;)

So even though I havent blogged in ages it seems that the same things still both amuse me and make me angry . What still amuses me is as follows -

-People who have the IQ of a turtle who seem to think its their right to go on the internet and tell everyone else what they think about everything.
-People just failing hard at life and then posting it on FB
-Heroin addicts. People say they are good for nothing but they are good for a few things ! Number one is the fact that u can look at them and think . Fuck im actually doing ok compared to them. Number two is they provide an endless amount of entertainment . I saw one the other day who literally fell asleep standing up infront of a bus ! hahahaha. Of course its sad in a way, but nobody forced this upon them so I dont have too much sympathy.

I love many things about this post but at the end I love how she says sciencetist instead of sciencetists . Its not only spelt very wrong is kind of emplies theres only one scientist in the world . Tell ya what that one scientist dont come from her family haha.

There are of course many other things that amuse me. But I figure I cant list them all. Now I will tell you what pisses me off.

-Most Things, haha man I think im getting old, either that or the world is just sucking a big dick atm.
-People who post up more than a few times on FB per day . Ok I get you like the environment and want to save it but fuck me dont post up 13 different things per day about saving fucking dolphins or whales or some other animal or environment . Yes I love animals and the environment but if you post that shit up 13 times per day eventually I end up ignoring most of your posts so your msg doesnt even get across and im sure im not the only one ignoring your 13 posts per day ! ;)
-The fact that Sara wants me to vaccuum UNDER the couch . I dont see the point . Number one nobody goes under there so who am I cleaning it for . Number two is that its just gunna get dirty again and we will clean it again for who to notice ? NOBODY ! ;)

Again of course there are many more things that piss me off (too many to list haha) but I do think thats enough for now otherwise I will run out of things to blog about.

Anyways I reckon this blog is done but I will keep posting regularly nowadays because I have been fucking lazy lately. About as lazy as those people who just give up on life and get a mobility scooter . In Australia those things are bloody everywhere!! Here in Norway the old people just suck it up and walk around with ski poles. They dont just give up and say life is so bloody hard I cant even be bothered walking . Ok some ppl need them for health reasons or because they are REALLY REALLY old and thats fair enough but when I see them morbidly obese people on them I think , fuck mate the reason your in one of them is because you dont walk enough , so u then decided to just give up on everything and decided not to walk anymore . Well im fucking sorry but I aint giving you no sympathy if you dont even try at life. Be mobile people be mobile . I cant stress that enough! ;)

No sympathy !

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)