The Justin Bieber generation will be the death of all of us !!!!! Seriously they are like a horde of dickwads.

Hey hey hey all my farmville playing young people I hope you have your mobile phone with you because otherwise if you dont you may DIE ! This is how it seems for the young kids aged anywhere in western society from 12-22 .... its not healthy for the mind.

The other day Sara and I were having a nice sunday lunch after a big night out and it wasnt bad ...I paid about $35 AUD and got a shitty steak sandwich with one piece of bread (thats how they do it here ... stupid I know) its a rip off and the service was terrible but at least I am used to that.... but something I cant and will never get over is this;- When we were leaving I saw a couple at the next table BOTH playing some kind of Farmville game or some shit on their phones .... fucken BOTH of them ! I just felt like smashing their phones on the ground infront of them and saying "TALK TO EACH OTHER YOU STUPID FUCKING SOCIALLY INEPT FUCKWITS!!!". But of course I didnt cause im not a cockmuncher like they were ... seriously why did you even leave your hovel you stupid boring people .... whatever happened to uncomfortable silences ... what ever happened to talking with the person you sit next to on the plane????? I will tell ya what happened to that shit we used to call real life COMMUNICATION between two human beings ... it went out the window with this great thing that most people laud and worship ....TECHNOLOGY.

Dont worry about playgrounds in the future ... the kids will only be worrying about the WIFI connection in the schoolyard .... fuck that!!!

 

Ok whilst I admit Technology has SOME good uses ... I think its mainly just a fast way to bring about the downdfall of mankind :( .... People arent learning the simple skills in life which helps you with one of the most basic and most important human traits ... the understanding and relating to our fellow human beings... the kids just arent learning how to read and understand people as we used to.

When I was at Burger King the other day having some lunch I saw a table of 14-18 year old kids and they were all sitting at their table and EVERYONE was looking at their phone at one point ... and it just made me sad to think that this is how the world is going .... it really sucks .... I just hope that anyone reading this can think about this and maybe raise their kids in a different way and teach them about manners and nature and love and forgiveness, because at this rate humanity is heading down a very depressing and boring future :( ... just take 2 hours a night or even 2 hours a week where you just dont use any kind of technology and maybe just think to yourself or even do something amazing and call a friend or a family member you havent talked to in a while and say hello| instead of leaving them a msg or a poke on facebook ... that shit just aint the same yo ! ;)

Anyways bit of a boring post but this shit really gets to me and it actually really gets me angry to see how the world is changing and in my eyes its mostly changing for the worse :(  Take some time to say hello to someone random once in a while ... it will make you feel human.

That is all , Peace out , Catch

The differences between Australia and Norway ...

Hey hey hey all my Auswegian friends I hope your all good and I also hope you have a good sense of humour if your from Norway/ Australia because your gunna have to be able to laugh at yourself !

So yeah here`s the deal , the other day a question was raised in the "Aussies in Oslo" facebook page and it was wether Norway/Norwegians are boring. Short answer I said yes ... its not that everyone/everything is boring ... just a lot of people are ... for instance there has only been ONE occasion where I have been to a supermarket and the person has actually asked how my day is ... and he was a champ who I actually became friends with , either way my point is that if you were a Scandanavian living in Australia going to the same supermarket each day and get served by the same people that after a time you would actually get to know that person (not everyone of course but some) Another good example is that if you are outside a pub having a smoke in Norway pretty much nobody will talk to you but in Australia you actually make friends in the smoking area and then continue to drink with them the rest of the night. Now whilst I must stress not ALL Norwegians are like this ... I have Norwegian friends who are more crazy and loose than anyone I know back home ... but its all about the majorities in this topic of conversation. Now I will comprise a small/big list of the differences between Our two countries.

                                             How Norwegians celebrate their national day -

EVERYBODY dresses up in suits and traditional costumes and parades around the city waving flags.

                                            How Australians celebrate their national day-

Pretty much everybody goes to a backyard party with a blow up pool and "goon of fortune" (Norwegians look it up !) and our favorite radio station ( Triple J ) Counts down the hottest 100 songs of the past year , and if your not drunk as hell by 9pm then your Un-Australian!!.

                                                              How Norwegians party-

They are generally well behaved and of course very very well dressed , shit gets out of control but its always managable and pretty sensible.

                                                               How Australians party -

This guy is a true example of an Australian partying ... just not giving a fuck and looking/acting like a total dick for everyone elses enjoyment ... this epitomises what it means to be an Australian and be partying.

                                                          Norwegian alcohol stores-

Closed on Sundays , only open until 3pm on Saturday ! Closes at 8pm weekdays , government has a monopoly over selling alcohol as they own these Vinmonopolet`s and nobody else can sell alchohol other than beer and only beer less than %5 ... I like how it sounds like MONOPOLY. Stupid government.

                                                             Australian alchohol stores-

We have DRIVE THROUGH bottle stores! (I do NOT condone drink driving) Most bottle stores are open until midnight every night except Sunday on which they Close at 10pm. There is almost as many bottle stores as 7-elevens in some Places.

                                                            Norwegians Seasons -

                                                                  Winter

                                        
            
                                                                    Summer

                                                                    Australian Seasons-

                                                                        Winter
Taken at a Beach (Noosa) 2 hours drive from where I live in the middle of June ( middle of "Winter")

 

                                                                     Summer

 

 

Whilst I do admit that Norwegian summers are almost as good as the Australian summers (if the beaches had waves they would be Equal) the problem is they only last around 3 months and then its back inside for everybody.

 

                                                                   Norways deadliets animals-

 



 

 

Australia`s deadliest animals- to many to list but heres a few!

 

 

 

 



 

Worlds deadliest snake - Taipan

 

 

Ok so I think thats it for a while haha but I really hope I havent offended anyone in making this list I just have been here in Norway for nearly 2 years and find the differences between the 2 countires mildly amusing ... and crazy at times. Hope you all visit both countries if you have never been before as they are both bloody awesome ... just Australia is best ... the greatest country in the world ! Sorry I know I am biased but even so I truly beleive that its true. Cheers mates ! :)

 

That is all, Peace out, Catch 

 

Turns out getting married is pretty damn complicated ... if your a woman !! ;)

Hey hey hey all my fellow intraweb users I hope that when/if you get married it isnt to complicated ... cause this shit is out of control !!

So yeah we are getting married and it turns out that for some reason its super complicated ... even though this isnt really our real wedding and its mainly for visa reasons ( big wedding to come :P ) ... Sara is stressing so bloody much ... she even said she is stressed because IM not stressed hahahaha jesus christ its INSANE ! Last night she was having me practice walking for when we are walking down the isle ... I said , ah im pretty sure I already know how to walk ... you learn that shit early in your life ... when your about 2-3 years old. Then we have to practice saying "I will" haha then get this ... she wants to practice TURNING AROUND ... like its somehow become really complicated since I last did it and somehow im going to manage to fuck it up hahahaha .... some part of me just wants to fuck it up and fall over on purpose just to prove that it doesnt really matter if everything doesnt go according to plan.

                                       Bitches be crazy when they getting married ! ;)

The funniest part about the wedding is that Saras friends had organised to do some "performance" involving them getting up on the stage and dancing the Beyonce`s song "all the single ladies" ... I had just one word for that ... terrible... I understand that girls might like that but im a guy and thats just bloody terrible ... thats like me asking if we can have a death metal band up on stage and smash out a song ... thank god the priest said NO .. lets just say I was a little (lot) happy when he said no hahaha. One other thing that she was hoping for was for one of her friends who is in a choir to sing a song and have another one of her friends who is a dancer to dance ballet to it ... that I said fuck NO to that ... I could handle the Beyonce thing but ballet at my wedding ... no fucking way ! Also she wanted to walk out of the church to the stupid Gangnam Style song by PSY ... thankfully the priest said no to that also ... turns out this priest is a bit of a fun killer ... but I suppose that goes hand in hand with religion doesnt it ! ;)

Anyways im looking forwards to the wedding because it will be good and I love Sara more than anything but im very much looking forwards to just being married and not having to worry about all these things haha ... crazy thing is that this is just a practice wedding kind of as we will have the "propper" wedding here in Oslo probly sometime next year ... my plan is just to go away for one month and come back 2 days before the wedding when everything is done and organised ... because if this small wedding is this stressfull I can begin to imagine how stressfull the real one will be!. Wish us luck!. Probably next time I post I will be a married man ;)

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)

We are getting married yo ! ;) HUZZAH ! :)

Hey hey hey all my intraweb pals I hope that you have/will find/found the person who you will marry and love forever and have kids and shit with cause I found mine ! :) Its corny or whatever but its true :)

So yeah for those of you who dont know my girlfriend her name is Sara and she is from Sweden ya and she is freaken awesome and beautiful and all other nice words ;) We met in an Irish pub in Thailand and it all kinda went from there ... crazy shit ... im so glad I can say that and its interesting because it is ... way better than Dazza telling me he met Shazza down at the local pub around the corner which is around the corner from where he grew up and about 500m from where he was born. Dazza is boring ...

Me and Sarez ... she hates that nickname ... hence why I use it all the time ! ;)

So yeah funny thing was that last night when I went to buy a suit I then realised that this was the first time I have actually bought a suit and im nearly 29 years old hahaha. I have borrowed a couple from mates but never owned one and its really my kinda style to only actually end up buying a suit when im getting married hahaha. I wouldnt have it any other way. :P

Sara and I get along so well and she makes me the man I am today and its freaken awesome because she gives me so much confidence and happiness in my everyday life that its just bloody awesome ... I will also need her to be there for me when I have times when I miss my family and friends back home .. which is a lot nowdays :( . This wedding has really kinda only come about because my visa runs out at the end of the year and we just talked a lot about it and figured it was easiest to get married so thats what we be doin yo ! ;) We will have a bigger ( more expensive ) wedding here in Oslo sometime in the next year or 2 ( also a big celebration back home in Australia ! ). We are just considering this like our engagement but by the letter of the law we will be married ... you can see my point I hope ... anyways just thought I would write a post about it seeing as though its pretty big news or whatever ;) I sincerely hope that you all find someone to love and marry because it really is the best thing in the world and when I have Sara nothing matters ... except sometimes the cricket score ... thats also very important ;)


This is a Picture of Sara ... she is as beautiful on the outside as she is on the inside ... and smart and funny and charming aswel .. sometimes I think she must be blind/dumb and deaf to be going to marry me ... but then I remember that im actually like pretty awesome :P.

That is all , Peace out , Catch

So fucking what Paul Walker died ... it was reckless.. there are much more IMPORTANT things to be talking about !!!

Hey hey hey all my fast and furious loving mates I hope that you arent feeling to bad because this dick head Paul Walker died. Ok maybe he isnt a dick head but for the whole world to be mourning his death like this is just sick !

DID YOU SEE THE FUCKING CAR ! THEY MUST HAVE BEEN GOING 150 KLM/H + !!!

Look at this picture of the wreckage ... im sorry but I have no sympathy when its obvious that huge amounts of speed was involved ... ok he wasnt driving but I have been in cars when my mates are doing 120 klm/h on the highway and I ask them to please slow down ...

This is why I have no sympathy for him ... ok its sad but fuck me this is apparently big news and my facebook has been jammed up with all this R.I.P Paul Walker BULLSHIT ! Fast and the Furious is fucking shit anyways... I have pooed out better things than The Fast and the Furious. Seriously

I just cant seem to comprehend how big this is and how fucked up the world must be to make this such big news ... ummmm what about the thousands and thousands of people who are dying in wars around the world each month ... what about the fact that in Syria the government used NAPALM on a bunch of schoolkids playing in the playground !! FUCKING NAPALM !! Oh no thats right some B grade actor who passed away through recklessness is WAY more important ... the world is fucked up if this is big news ...

Anyways just a short post to share my anger and disgust that this has become huge news ... ok if he was shot by someone or he died through some other way but did you see the car ! Maybe in a way it will be a good thing because then all these dick head kids wont drive around racing their stupid doof doof cars on the streets and endangering the lives of not only themselves and their passengers but also everyone else on the road ... its harsh but its true. Sorry if I come across as a cold hearted bastard but its just really dissapointing to see first hand what the world is like and how ignorant most of the world actually is ...

That is all, Peace out, Catch ;)

My new boss is criminally insane ... like seriously ... HE CRAZY !

Hey hey hey all my criminally insane mates I hope that you dont have a mega crazy ass boss like I do because it really actually sucks a heap of testicles to have a crazy ass boss.

So yeah the deal is that I started a new job a couple of weeks ago and it turns out my boss is insane... even the first time I met him to have coffee and talk about me working for him he actually forgot to pay for the coffee so I had to bloody pay for the coffee ... shoulda suspected he was weird then. So yeah on the first day he tells me he just got out of jail 2 years ago and I thought ok I dont really care just as long as he has work. The very next day ( 2nd day I ever met this man ) He goes on to tell me that he was in jail for 7 years for smuggling 300kgs of hash and 6 kgs of speed ... and he was going on about how some "cunt" snitched on him ... um .... I can definitely can see how that would come about mate ... I have known you for 2 days and you have told me all this shit and even offered me hash haha what a fucking numbskull !!

The other day I got in his car and first thing he says is wow look what I found under the seat ... and he showed me 2 small pieces of hash and then promptly said "oh yeah I should tell you I lost my liscence yesterday" ... and I just said fair enough ... but being the insane person he is he decided he needed to tell me that he got caught driving with cocaine and speed in his system on the weekend ... this guy is like 50 years old or some shit and seriously he is the biggest fuck up I have EVER met !

Today he told me to meet him at some train station at 8am and I was there at 7;55 and called him ... no answer ... msg him ... nothing ... waited 20 mins ... called again ... no answer ... msg again ... waited another 20 mins and called again ... no answer ... then just went the fuck home ... seriously this is my idea of an anti-idol ... I dont need an idol when I have this guy .... if all I ever acheive in my life was to become the complete opposite of this fucking fucked up man then I would be a happy Lachlan ... seriously this guy is out of control .... I just hope he pays me the 9000 NOK that he owes me ...  not holding my breath though haha.

I just found this pick of this crazy guy and he kinda looks like him haha .. probly this bacon loving freak has more of an idea of how to act like a normal person than my "boss" does hahaha :P

Anyways I hope all you guys dont have crazy bosses because its ok to have crazy co-workers but when the person responsible for you receiving money is actually insane its a bit nerve racking haha.

That is all , Peace out, Catch ;)

TONY ABBOT IS A HUGE DICK ! (true story!)

hey hey hey all my Austraian political readers and viewers I hope you hate Tony Abbot as much as me ... well thats not hard really when hes just a huge dick! (true story)

Did you know that Tony Abbot is a fuckwit?. No ? Well let me assure you he is one HUGE dick ! The worst thing is that he has somehow managed to become the prime minister of Australia and not really through his policies or persona or humility but mainly kinda like an incumbent I would say ... the labour party fucked up real bad as they managed to vote  out Kevin Rudd and then Vote him back in as prime minister again during a 4 year term ... so really the Public was just like ... well fuck labour they have obviously got NO idea what they are doing lets just vote for whomever the liberal party puts up to run for prime minister ... and it was Tony Abbot ... and hes a dick ! ( a HUGE one )

One of the first few Things that Mr Abbot ( AKA-Huge Dick ) Changed directly after coming into power was allowing a proposal to go ahead for a MASSIVE port to be.... wait for it ..... BUILT ON THE GREAT BARRIER REEF ! Why ? so that Australias megadouche bitchface Gina Rhinehart (Richest woman/man in Australia) can ship out vast amounts of coal THROUGH a port contstructed ON the fucking GREAT BARRIER REEF ! ummmmm the Great Barrier Reef is ALREADY having enough trouble on its own due to the massive amounts of bleaching of corals ( due to rising global temperatures ) and also agricultural runoff from industry and the huge amounts of ships that already traverse through the reef on a daily basis. I cant beleive that this can even be considered! ... we only got one fucking Great Barrier Reef and at this rate it will be screwed by the time we have grandkids!!! ... imagine how you have to tell your grandkids there is no more Great Barrier Reef because we fucked it up - "im sorry little Jonny but we just fucked up the reef"...." but why ? how did you fuck up the reef grandad were you stupid or just ignorant?" "well little Jonny we were just ignorant... we even KNEW we were killing it but nobody seemed to care to much so we kept doing that and now its fucked" WOOPS!. Anyways enough rambling about that because  Mr Abbot has an array of many stupid things he has managed to achieve in his short time as prime minister.

This is the Great Barrier Reef and we are killing it ! Sign a petition to help save it ! This is a link where YOU can help save The Great Barrier Reef ! :) It takes ONE MINUTE ! :)

 https://www.getup.org.au/campaigns/coal-seam-gas/unesco-great-barrier-reef/sign-the-petition

So basically the next thing that Mr Abbot did was try and approve the logging of some old Growth foests in Tasmania that had just become  UNESCO World Heritage Listed ... seriously ? They just became UNESCO listed and then your like ... nah fuck it we will just cut them down anyways ... some of the trees we are talking about take up to 300 years to grow! Stupidity!

Ok so the last thing I want to rant about is Tony Abbots New asylum seeker policy , which involves sending back boats from Indonesia packed with asylum seekers seeking a new life and a way to a life where they will not be persucuted and in harms way. First of all this is actually almost illegal due to international law which says that since they are in our territory they are our responsibility. Now im not saying that all of these "Boat People" as they are commonly reffered to in Australia are actually valid asylum seekers but the majority are and seriously if they are that desperate to get in a 30m long fising boat With 200 other People and attempt to reach Australia by braving the might of the sea for a few days then good Luck to them I say and most of them are asylum seekers and should be helped. One of the worst Things is that ever when they do Reach the Australian Mainland they spend usually one or 2 years in a "detention centre" which is more like a jail ... you cant leave , it has a big fence and you cant interact With the local community. This is not good for many obvious ways but the main one being that it automatically seggregates these asylum seekers which is not good for their mental state when trying to start a new life. Pretty much ALL Australians actually forget that WE are ALL actually "boat people" as such.  We were colonised via the First Fleet which only arrived in Australia in 1770 ... for around 60,000 years aboriginals inhabitated "Our" country and we invaded them...

Anyways what more can I say really other than Tony Abbot is a huge dick ... he even looks like a dick and talks like a dick ... I mean just look at him ... Australia you fucked up bad ... he cant even fake smile good ... and if Your gunna be prime minister that needs to be the thing your real good at !

 

 

That is all , Peace out , Catch .... and Fuck you Mr Abbot !

 

 

Honestly what the FUCK is the go with this bloody "Bitstrips" thing on facebook ???

Hey hey hey all my facebook logging in friends I hope you dont use bitstrips because if you do then  you should look away now and read another post of mine because im just gunna be raving on about how much I fucking HATE bitstrips !

Ok so for all of you who are unaware of this rediculously stupid phenomenon called "Bitstrips" its some app you can get on your phone or watever and you can place you or your friends in a pre-determined cartoon skit and pretend that it is funny..... ITS NOT , ITS SO SHIT !! Honestly a mate of mine posted this one up today and I think it will prove a good example of its shitness .

SERIOUSLY WAT THE FUCKING FUCK !!! In NO way is this funny or even entertaining and honestly who doesnt have a shit time waking up ... unless its Christmas or your birthday or the start of an Ashes cricket series ;) This bullshit bitstrips is just a way for people who are mind numbingly unfunny to pretend they are funny by putting their name in these pre-drawn cartoons ... yes thats right all they do is have a template of this cartoon and then add their name and pretend like they did the Whole thing ... THEY ARENT EVER FUCKING FUNNY !! This is why a friend of mine introduced me to a facebook page called "Shitstrips" and its all about taking the piss out of bitstrips and a heap of other shit and fuck me its bloody funny ... you should REALLY check it out ... even one of my "Shitstrips" got onto the page ... although my second one never made it haha . This is the one that I made ... and remember its not meant to make sense its just meant to be stupid etc ;)

Well I reckon its funny anyways haha :P ... anyways this will conclude my rant about how shit Bitstrips is but I will leave you with a couple of my favorite SHITSTRIPS ! Make sure to go and like the page on facebook ... a mate of mines mate set it up and hes a fucking legend because this Bitstrips shit is honestly out of Control !!

 

Hahahahahaha damn I love this one hahahaha so true ... love how it says "up" to 15 minutes hahahaha heres another one of my favorites ! ;)

 

 

Honestly this page has HEAPS of Shitstrips like this and fuck they crack me up !! So much that I HAD to share this because honeslty people who actually use the real bitstrips are just tragic ...and my point is always proven when I pretty much only see really weird and unfunny people I know using it haha ... anyways ch ch ch check it out ;)

 

That is all , Peace out , Catch .....

 

Ah why not another one cant hurt haha :P

 





Croatia/Montenegro take 2 ! Still love Croatia ! :) - Post 2

Hey hey hey all my friends who are looking at some kind of technological screen right now , I really hope that we dont all get cancer from all the radiation from phones etc.... but only time will tell I suppose :P

So yeah continuing on from my other post about my holidays after we left the island called Korcula we then took a 1 hour ferry and 3 hour bus to get to Dubrovnik .... holy shitballs what a place !! Dubrovnik is quite a big city compared to other places in Croatia , it has a freaken AWESOME old town which is surrounded by HUGE ancient walls to protect it from invasion and damn it worked well ... even in the Yugoslav war which only ended in 1995 the invading army ( Serbs/Montenegrans ) werent able to breach the city ... although unfortunately they decided to bombard the city with artillery in the hope the people would surrender but they held strong and eventually repelled all attacks and despite huge damage to the city at the time it is almost unoticeable these days . The best way to see how much damage was done is to look at all the roofs of the buildings and you will notice that about half have resonably new roofs as they all sustained a lot of damage from the indiscriminate bombing. In turn it has made the Croatian People very proud of their Heritage and culture even if the country is only very young on the world scale. This first pic I will put up is one I took from the city walls and it shows the beauty of the nature here and also the beauty of its influence from man in the awesome defenses that were built here ;)

This next picture is of me and Rob playing on a childrens playground in the old city of Dubrovnik hahaha :P

This is the last picture of Dubrovnik I will put up and its taken from up the top of the hill/mountain which overlooks Dubrovnik and you can get a cable car up to the top and check out the views ... definitely worth it ! ;)

So after Dubrovnik we headed to Montenegro and first went to Herceg Novi which was not the best place I must say haha. The beaches were shitty and it was overrun with Russians but it was still cool to check the place out :) This picture is of a traditional Serbian dish which at 12 Euros was the most expensive meal I bought on the trip by far .... but it was the best meal I had on the trip ... it was like a sausage but with chicken and garlic and bacon on the inside ... fucking so damn good ! ;)

 

 

Ok so after we were in Herceg Novi we got a bus to a placed called Budva and this place was SO much better than Herceg Novi ... it had a sweet as old town and a lot more things going on in and around the place :) You should have seen the bus we had to get there haha , here is a few pics of the bus ... it had bald tyres it smelt like shit and didnt have ANY air conditioning or open windows and it was fucken hot!! You couldnt even see out the windows because they had so much shit on them haha ...I have been on many shit buses in my time but this one was the worst haha ....3 hours of pure hell ....hungover as all hell also ... not a good combination haha . Here is the "chariot" ;)

 



 

Awesome views from inside the bus !!! ;)

 

 

 

So Budva was the last place on our mega trip and it was pretty damn cool. Had an awesome old town which had a lot of cool stuff in it , also had great beaches in and around the town. Rob and I took a boat cruise one day to a small island right near the town and it was pretty cool ... ended up climbing up some island hill thing which was cool :) Here is a picture of the hill island thing we climbed up ... with no shoes mind you haha ... my feet hurt thinking about it haha :P was awesome though :) 

 

 

 

Ok so the last pic is of  Rob going down a slide in a childrens playground haha just thought it was funny and a good way to end my posts about holidays because its all about having fun and doin stupid shit really ... and we did plenty of both ! I still love Croatia and I think I always will ... the people are super friendly and helpful and interesting and the landscape is just awe inspiring ! GO THERE !!! ;)

 

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Croatia/Montenegro take 2 ! Still love Croatia ! :) - Post 1

Hey hey hey all my internationally travelled intraweb mates how the fuck is your person ? :) Hope your all bloody EPDAWG !! ;)

So yeah as you may or may not know I recently went on a 3 week holiday to Croatia/Montenegro just me and my best mate Rob who I have known and been good friends with since about 1998 so a fucken long time lol and it was freaken awesome as you could have imagined ... I always used to think of Croatia as somwhere where the people would not be so friendly and not speak any English or even want to speak English but seriously its quite the opposite on every level ... except not in Montenegro ... I cant speak for all the people there but in general the people actually were quite unfriendly and it was absolutely FLOODED with Russians and that wasn`t the best as it turns out Russians absolutely HATE people with a long beard such as myself ... one time we were just walking down the street in a place called Herceg Novi and there was a group of 5 Russians about my age walking towards me and one said something very angrily and aggresively in Russian and then spat on the ground right in front of me and I just said what the fuck man and threw my arms out in confusion ...but in this situation it was really the only thing to do unfortunately. They are mostly very very ignorant and they all seemed to think I was a Muslim/terrorist and they just absolutely HATED me haha ... and unfortunately the same kinda goes for most Montenegrans of course this does not count for all Russians/Montenegrans just nearly all the ones I happened to meet ... I met a couple of really cool Russians on this trip but only a couple :( .... whereas on the other hand the Croatians are never looking angrily at me but for the most part just think its funny and laugh at my beard and I laugh and everybody is cool... anyways enough about the bad parts of the holidays the rest of this post will be about the good times and there was many ;)

Ok so we arrived in Split and spent a couple of nights there which was pretty cool as they have a nice bar area and awesome old town with a huge palace right in the port on the water near where we were staying... we were drinking beers outside our Apartment in some dodgy alleyway and it was so cool just to be back in Croatia having a beer with my best mate Rob ;) Here is a picture of a little dude we met running around playing in the alleyway ... even though he couldnt understand us we still had fun giving high fives and chasing him around haha . Oh and by the way how much do I look like a freaken amish person hahahaha I didnt even really realise until I skyped with Sara and she told me I looked like a bloody amish person haha ... probably explains why so many people were laughing when they saw me ... all good im just happy to make people smile ;)

Ok so the next place we went was an island called Hvar and its such cool place .... it has a great old town and even a huge fortress on the top of the big hill which overlooks the town and of course amazing beaches ... it also has a pretty awesome nightlife and many good bars and crazy people to party with , which actually was my downfall as I will explain a bit later haha. This picture is of another island called Mlini which is about 1 hours boatride from Hvar and god damn it was so nice as you can see from this picture ... the water is just so amazingly blue and also the temperature was so good at around 26-28 degrees! . As you can see from this pic Croatia is one freaken beautiful place and you can now understand why I love it so much !! ( sorry its small I cant fucking figure out how to make it larger even though I did on the other pics... it just wont work ... why??  because FUCK BLOGGER thats why haha ) Just zoom in on the pic to get the full awesomeness of it ! :)

So yeah as I said the nightlife is good in Hvar and I had what I call a small "incident" with the corner of a stone wall after I had had way to much to drink ... note to self dont drink 3 bottles of wine BEFORE you go out because this kinda thing will probably happen haha , pretty nasty cut but I was so drunk I didnt really feel it haha ... people ran up to me and aksed if I was ok and I just said yeah sure no problem and they were all telling me I needed a hospital and I just ignored them and carried on my drunken ways until I woke up and looked in the mirror in the morning and I was just like ... fuck now THATS a big night haha... stupid stone walls :P It was so funny when I went in the morning to get stitches because I actually had to get them done at a freaken dentist because there was no doctor apparently ... so if you ever need a tooth pulled in Hvar they got you covered but if you have a medial emergency your fucked haha.

 

Ok so now I have actually realised I will have to make 2 different posts for this trip because hot damn there was so much to do and see that I want everyone to see and hear haha. Next we took a ferry for 3 hours to another island called Korcula and damn this place was just as good as Hvar ! We spent most days getting the local bus to all the small towns on this island and just chilling on the beach having a few beers and some nice and cheap food to wash the beers down with ... and it is cheap ... it only usually costs about $10-15 AUD ( 60-90 NOK ) for an awesome woodfired pizza and half a litre of local beer ( Oszjusko = damn good beer ! ) Anyways these 2 pictures are just of a small town called Racisce` and it was so awesome , this first picture is just of an old church which was next to a restuarant where we were eating pizza and drinking many cold Oszjusko , the 2nd picture is actually the beach which was across the road from the church and restuarant .... unbeleivably beautiful and relaxing and at the same time interesting because this church was so freaken old and awesome. :)

This is all that I will put in this post as its getting a bit big now and im sure you cant be fucked reading so much all at once haha. I will post up the other post tomorrow about the trip :)

That is all , Peace out, Catch

IM BAAAAAAAAAACK !!!! ;) :D Sorry I been gone so long :(

Hey hey hey all me lonely and heartbroken intraweb pals im back and bigger ( literally ) and better than ever ! ;)

Ok so here is the deal as to why I havent posted in a few months ... I got lazy ... the end ... thats really the easy explanation but the long one is that to be honest I havent really had to much to blog about after I came back from my holiday in Croatia/Montenegro because I havent really had a job and to be honest its pretty depressing living in the most expensive country in the world and not having work haha. But now I checked my blog and I saw some people are still checking it out ( the other day I had 40 hits from NEPAL of all places ...how cool is that !! ) which is epdawg to say the least ... epdawg is a word me and my mate Rob made up and its a combination of epic and dawg as you probly guessed and its probly how I would describe my holiday ;)

So whats the news everyone ? Not that anyone answers me anyways haha . My life has changed a bit since last I was on here ranting and raving about my life and shit haha . IM GETTIN MARRIED YO ! Buuuuuut its mainly for visa reasons unfortunately because my visa runs out at the end of the year and getting a new visa here is about as easy as getting open heart surgery from a blind epileptic doctor and surviving ... anyways its pretty cool news I reckon haha and of course Sara is super happy ... and even  MORE happy because now she actually kinda gets to have 3 weddings ... one is on the 7th of December and this is what I call the "visa wedding" or sometimes I call it the "document ceremony" but then we will also have a proper wedding here in Oslo sometime next year and then also have some kind of wedding back home in Australia ... so as you may have guessed she is one happy girl at the moment .... and in turn that makes me happy because my job is done ;)

One friend told me I should update people about my job seeking process and I said that was rediculous because nobody wants to here about that ... this is what it would be like ...woke up at 10am ...did a poo with the door open just because I can , make some garlic bread for breakfast/lunch , rang about 20 different painting companies asking for work and getting rejected by all and at the same time pissing many people off because I have to ask that they speak in English ... a few people actually just hang up on me haha , search online for jobs of which there are basically none , lie down on the couch and watch T.V for 5 hours until Sara gets home to entertain me ;) . This is why im not going to bore you all with talking about what im doing at the moment because its pretty damn shit haha , bit depressing also as I cant get any government welfare or anything while I am looking for work and the worst thing is that there is really not much work out there ... there is some but I dont speak Norwegian so thats a big downfall . Anyways all I can do is try and stay positive and keep my head up ;) That makes me think about the saying keep your chin up ... what the fuck does that really mean anyways because if my chin was actually up then my head would be pointing to the sky and my neck would hurt ... the saying really should be keep your chin parralel to the ground and dont let it go down. ;)

Anyways I think thats enough for this post as im gunna start a new one about my holidays in Croatia/Montenegro ;) Hope I didnt loose to many fans by not being active lately ( I mean any of my 13 fans ) Now I probably have 7 but hey thats better than none haha.

This is a picture of me holding some crazy shit I found in a supermarker in Rome ... it is rabbit and Wild boar spread ... yes you heard right ... SPREAD this shit looked so dang nasty I HAD to get a photo haha ... kinda random but I like to entertain people by always posting up some photos so thats why its here haha .

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)

Hey Hey Hey :)

so the deal is im on holidays in Croatia/Montenegro and this is why i havent been posting and i know im a slack ass but im sorry and i will be back from next week with more amounts of stupid shit that u can read lol ... hope your all good and that you happened across a diamond in the street that was worth $15,000,000 dollars ... anyways sorry again for being a slack ass but the man has to have a vacation and no doubt you will all hear about it next week :) ... CHEERS :)

That is all , peace out , Catch ! ;)

IM GOING TO CROATIA IN 3 DAYS !!! WOOP

Hey hey hey all my internationally well travelled intraweb companions I hope you are all good and that you also will go to Croatia one day if you havent already because its fucking paradise yo ;)

So yeah I have been waiting and thinking about this holiday for so freaken long now and now that its only 3 days away im starting to become as excited as a morbidly obese kid when they are told they are going to the all you can eat dinner at Pizza Hut . So this holiday will actually be a MANcation as its just going to be me and my best mate Robbo who will arrive from Australia about 2 hours before me in Split ...we are goin for 3 weeks and we will be checking out so many places and drinking way to much beer and eating way to much pizza ...and do some touristy things like do some paragliding and hire kyaks and bikes and just take in all that is this wonderful country :)

We arrive in Split and will be staying there for 2 nights ( no doubt they will be huge because I havent seen Rob in over 18 months ) then after that we travel to the beautiful island of Hvar where Sara and I spend 4 nights there approximately a year ago and it was so good , here is a couple of pictures to give you an idea of how good it is ! ;)

                          This is what pretty much ALL the beaches look like in Croatia ;)

I took this photo of the port in Hvar when Sara and I was there around a year ago ...what a place !!!

 

 

So yeah after Hvar we off to another island called Korcula for 4 nights and then Dubrovnik for 6 nights and then Montenegro for a week or so ,apparently Montenegro is similar to Croatia but even MORE cheaper and it also has beautiful beaches and old towns etc :).  Croatia is relatively cheap ...well its really fucking cheap compared to Norway and its very cheap compared to Australia... a pint ( 500 ml ) of beer at a restuarant will cost you around $ 3 ( 15 NOK ) and a pizza will cost around $8-12 ( 40-60 NOK ) which is bloody cheap!! ....especially compared to Norway where you pay on average $13 for a fucking beer ...and around $35 for a pizza in a restuarant ... you can also buy beer in the supermarket of course and you can even buy 2 litre beers !! and they only cost $3.50 ( 18 NOK ) . Here is a picture of me and my 2 litre beer after about 1 hour of arriving and finding a supermarket haha ...damn it was soo good !!

 

All in all im super excited about this trip and I also must say a big thank you to my awesome girlfriend Sara for letting me go away with my best mate for 3 weeks and just have a guys holiday ... I will miss Sara a lot but at the same time its always good to have some time apart ....maybe 3 weeks is a bit long but we will manage ;) You know what they say ...abscence makes the heart grow fonder ...some shit like that anyways ;) . Well I hope you guys also have good holidays this year and if you are even thinking about going to Croatia then dont think and just GO !! Its bloody fucking awesonme !

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)

Dont worry im still here ;)

Hey hey hey all me intraweb mates long time no see ...well long time no I write some stupid shit and you read it haha .

So yeah I havent posted up on my blog in over a week and I feel bad because thats just lazy of me haha , but to be honest I havent really had much motivation to blog as I havent been working much and im saving money heaps for my trip to Croatia which begins in only 3 days !! Woop Woop ...but this is why  I havent had much to talk about because I have had no work and not much money so I have just been sitting on my ass watching T.V playing poker and starting to go a little insane haha .

Anyways that doesnt mean I still dont have a few things to talk about of course ;) . Here we go ;)
So in Norway they have the travelator things that you see at the airports ...they are like escalators but flat on the ground ...you know the ones ...anyways they have them in the central station here in Oslo and sometimes I wonder if people understand what they are for ....they are so you DONT have to walk your lazy ass up the slight incline leading to the main area of the train station ... but Norwegians being Norwegians they just think this means that they can walk twice as fast and therefore EVERYBODY walk on these things ... I was on one the other day and being a lazy ass Aussie I was just standing there waiting for the ride to finish when some stupid fuckwit barged past me about 2m from the fucking end .....LIKE IT MADE ANY FUCKING DIFFERENCE YOU STUPID COCKMUNCHER ....seriously he would have saved himself 1 second and he had to barge past me and knock me with his bag . If we had the same thing in the central station in Brisbane then NOBODY would walk and there is a possibility that there will be a stand selling beers and hotdogs along the way haha . Crazy Norks walking when there is absolutely no need ....suckers :P

Another thing is I saw a guy the other day walking with his headphones on and he was boppin his head to the beat and trying to be cool and thinking he was the man when really he just looked like a retarded pigeon that doesnt know how to walk properly haha .... im always walking and bopping my head and groovin to the beat thinking to myself , man if ppl can see me now they must think im so cool and hip and happening buuuuut im pretty sure I just look like a retarded pideon haha ....but I love to be groovin when im walking to I aint NEVER gunna stop ! If you ever see a big guy with a big beard who is walking down the street like a retarded pigeon whilst groovin to his music then thats me ! Give me a wave ! haha

Anyways thats about all the random shit I have to say at the moment but I promise to be more active in the future because otherwise ppl wont keep lookin at my blog and it would have been a big waste of time ...well not really but you get my point ! ;)

That is all, Peace out, Catch ;)

The picture here is by a guy called Gary Larson who writes/draws the comedy sketches called The Far Side and I love his comedy so I figured I would share it ;) :)