My new boss is criminally insane ... like seriously ... HE CRAZY !

Hey hey hey all my criminally insane mates I hope that you dont have a mega crazy ass boss like I do because it really actually sucks a heap of testicles to have a crazy ass boss.

So yeah the deal is that I started a new job a couple of weeks ago and it turns out my boss is insane... even the first time I met him to have coffee and talk about me working for him he actually forgot to pay for the coffee so I had to bloody pay for the coffee ... shoulda suspected he was weird then. So yeah on the first day he tells me he just got out of jail 2 years ago and I thought ok I dont really care just as long as he has work. The very next day ( 2nd day I ever met this man ) He goes on to tell me that he was in jail for 7 years for smuggling 300kgs of hash and 6 kgs of speed ... and he was going on about how some "cunt" snitched on him ... um .... I can definitely can see how that would come about mate ... I have known you for 2 days and you have told me all this shit and even offered me hash haha what a fucking numbskull !!

The other day I got in his car and first thing he says is wow look what I found under the seat ... and he showed me 2 small pieces of hash and then promptly said "oh yeah I should tell you I lost my liscence yesterday" ... and I just said fair enough ... but being the insane person he is he decided he needed to tell me that he got caught driving with cocaine and speed in his system on the weekend ... this guy is like 50 years old or some shit and seriously he is the biggest fuck up I have EVER met !

Today he told me to meet him at some train station at 8am and I was there at 7;55 and called him ... no answer ... msg him ... nothing ... waited 20 mins ... called again ... no answer ... msg again ... waited another 20 mins and called again ... no answer ... then just went the fuck home ... seriously this is my idea of an anti-idol ... I dont need an idol when I have this guy .... if all I ever acheive in my life was to become the complete opposite of this fucking fucked up man then I would be a happy Lachlan ... seriously this guy is out of control .... I just hope he pays me the 9000 NOK that he owes me ...  not holding my breath though haha.

I just found this pick of this crazy guy and he kinda looks like him haha .. probly this bacon loving freak has more of an idea of how to act like a normal person than my "boss" does hahaha :P

Anyways I hope all you guys dont have crazy bosses because its ok to have crazy co-workers but when the person responsible for you receiving money is actually insane its a bit nerve racking haha.

That is all , Peace out, Catch ;)

TONY ABBOT IS A HUGE DICK ! (true story!)

hey hey hey all my Austraian political readers and viewers I hope you hate Tony Abbot as much as me ... well thats not hard really when hes just a huge dick! (true story)

Did you know that Tony Abbot is a fuckwit?. No ? Well let me assure you he is one HUGE dick ! The worst thing is that he has somehow managed to become the prime minister of Australia and not really through his policies or persona or humility but mainly kinda like an incumbent I would say ... the labour party fucked up real bad as they managed to vote  out Kevin Rudd and then Vote him back in as prime minister again during a 4 year term ... so really the Public was just like ... well fuck labour they have obviously got NO idea what they are doing lets just vote for whomever the liberal party puts up to run for prime minister ... and it was Tony Abbot ... and hes a dick ! ( a HUGE one )

One of the first few Things that Mr Abbot ( AKA-Huge Dick ) Changed directly after coming into power was allowing a proposal to go ahead for a MASSIVE port to be.... wait for it ..... BUILT ON THE GREAT BARRIER REEF ! Why ? so that Australias megadouche bitchface Gina Rhinehart (Richest woman/man in Australia) can ship out vast amounts of coal THROUGH a port contstructed ON the fucking GREAT BARRIER REEF ! ummmmm the Great Barrier Reef is ALREADY having enough trouble on its own due to the massive amounts of bleaching of corals ( due to rising global temperatures ) and also agricultural runoff from industry and the huge amounts of ships that already traverse through the reef on a daily basis. I cant beleive that this can even be considered! ... we only got one fucking Great Barrier Reef and at this rate it will be screwed by the time we have grandkids!!! ... imagine how you have to tell your grandkids there is no more Great Barrier Reef because we fucked it up - "im sorry little Jonny but we just fucked up the reef"...." but why ? how did you fuck up the reef grandad were you stupid or just ignorant?" "well little Jonny we were just ignorant... we even KNEW we were killing it but nobody seemed to care to much so we kept doing that and now its fucked" WOOPS!. Anyways enough rambling about that because  Mr Abbot has an array of many stupid things he has managed to achieve in his short time as prime minister.

This is the Great Barrier Reef and we are killing it ! Sign a petition to help save it ! This is a link where YOU can help save The Great Barrier Reef ! :) It takes ONE MINUTE ! :)

 https://www.getup.org.au/campaigns/coal-seam-gas/unesco-great-barrier-reef/sign-the-petition

So basically the next thing that Mr Abbot did was try and approve the logging of some old Growth foests in Tasmania that had just become  UNESCO World Heritage Listed ... seriously ? They just became UNESCO listed and then your like ... nah fuck it we will just cut them down anyways ... some of the trees we are talking about take up to 300 years to grow! Stupidity!

Ok so the last thing I want to rant about is Tony Abbots New asylum seeker policy , which involves sending back boats from Indonesia packed with asylum seekers seeking a new life and a way to a life where they will not be persucuted and in harms way. First of all this is actually almost illegal due to international law which says that since they are in our territory they are our responsibility. Now im not saying that all of these "Boat People" as they are commonly reffered to in Australia are actually valid asylum seekers but the majority are and seriously if they are that desperate to get in a 30m long fising boat With 200 other People and attempt to reach Australia by braving the might of the sea for a few days then good Luck to them I say and most of them are asylum seekers and should be helped. One of the worst Things is that ever when they do Reach the Australian Mainland they spend usually one or 2 years in a "detention centre" which is more like a jail ... you cant leave , it has a big fence and you cant interact With the local community. This is not good for many obvious ways but the main one being that it automatically seggregates these asylum seekers which is not good for their mental state when trying to start a new life. Pretty much ALL Australians actually forget that WE are ALL actually "boat people" as such.  We were colonised via the First Fleet which only arrived in Australia in 1770 ... for around 60,000 years aboriginals inhabitated "Our" country and we invaded them...

Anyways what more can I say really other than Tony Abbot is a huge dick ... he even looks like a dick and talks like a dick ... I mean just look at him ... Australia you fucked up bad ... he cant even fake smile good ... and if Your gunna be prime minister that needs to be the thing your real good at !

 

 

That is all , Peace out , Catch .... and Fuck you Mr Abbot !

 

 

Honestly what the FUCK is the go with this bloody "Bitstrips" thing on facebook ???

Hey hey hey all my facebook logging in friends I hope you dont use bitstrips because if you do then  you should look away now and read another post of mine because im just gunna be raving on about how much I fucking HATE bitstrips !

Ok so for all of you who are unaware of this rediculously stupid phenomenon called "Bitstrips" its some app you can get on your phone or watever and you can place you or your friends in a pre-determined cartoon skit and pretend that it is funny..... ITS NOT , ITS SO SHIT !! Honestly a mate of mine posted this one up today and I think it will prove a good example of its shitness .

SERIOUSLY WAT THE FUCKING FUCK !!! In NO way is this funny or even entertaining and honestly who doesnt have a shit time waking up ... unless its Christmas or your birthday or the start of an Ashes cricket series ;) This bullshit bitstrips is just a way for people who are mind numbingly unfunny to pretend they are funny by putting their name in these pre-drawn cartoons ... yes thats right all they do is have a template of this cartoon and then add their name and pretend like they did the Whole thing ... THEY ARENT EVER FUCKING FUNNY !! This is why a friend of mine introduced me to a facebook page called "Shitstrips" and its all about taking the piss out of bitstrips and a heap of other shit and fuck me its bloody funny ... you should REALLY check it out ... even one of my "Shitstrips" got onto the page ... although my second one never made it haha . This is the one that I made ... and remember its not meant to make sense its just meant to be stupid etc ;)

Well I reckon its funny anyways haha :P ... anyways this will conclude my rant about how shit Bitstrips is but I will leave you with a couple of my favorite SHITSTRIPS ! Make sure to go and like the page on facebook ... a mate of mines mate set it up and hes a fucking legend because this Bitstrips shit is honestly out of Control !!

 

Hahahahahaha damn I love this one hahahaha so true ... love how it says "up" to 15 minutes hahahaha heres another one of my favorites ! ;)

 

 

Honestly this page has HEAPS of Shitstrips like this and fuck they crack me up !! So much that I HAD to share this because honeslty people who actually use the real bitstrips are just tragic ...and my point is always proven when I pretty much only see really weird and unfunny people I know using it haha ... anyways ch ch ch check it out ;)

 

That is all , Peace out , Catch .....

 

Ah why not another one cant hurt haha :P

 





Croatia/Montenegro take 2 ! Still love Croatia ! :) - Post 2

Hey hey hey all my friends who are looking at some kind of technological screen right now , I really hope that we dont all get cancer from all the radiation from phones etc.... but only time will tell I suppose :P

So yeah continuing on from my other post about my holidays after we left the island called Korcula we then took a 1 hour ferry and 3 hour bus to get to Dubrovnik .... holy shitballs what a place !! Dubrovnik is quite a big city compared to other places in Croatia , it has a freaken AWESOME old town which is surrounded by HUGE ancient walls to protect it from invasion and damn it worked well ... even in the Yugoslav war which only ended in 1995 the invading army ( Serbs/Montenegrans ) werent able to breach the city ... although unfortunately they decided to bombard the city with artillery in the hope the people would surrender but they held strong and eventually repelled all attacks and despite huge damage to the city at the time it is almost unoticeable these days . The best way to see how much damage was done is to look at all the roofs of the buildings and you will notice that about half have resonably new roofs as they all sustained a lot of damage from the indiscriminate bombing. In turn it has made the Croatian People very proud of their Heritage and culture even if the country is only very young on the world scale. This first pic I will put up is one I took from the city walls and it shows the beauty of the nature here and also the beauty of its influence from man in the awesome defenses that were built here ;)

This next picture is of me and Rob playing on a childrens playground in the old city of Dubrovnik hahaha :P

This is the last picture of Dubrovnik I will put up and its taken from up the top of the hill/mountain which overlooks Dubrovnik and you can get a cable car up to the top and check out the views ... definitely worth it ! ;)

So after Dubrovnik we headed to Montenegro and first went to Herceg Novi which was not the best place I must say haha. The beaches were shitty and it was overrun with Russians but it was still cool to check the place out :) This picture is of a traditional Serbian dish which at 12 Euros was the most expensive meal I bought on the trip by far .... but it was the best meal I had on the trip ... it was like a sausage but with chicken and garlic and bacon on the inside ... fucking so damn good ! ;)

 

 

Ok so after we were in Herceg Novi we got a bus to a placed called Budva and this place was SO much better than Herceg Novi ... it had a sweet as old town and a lot more things going on in and around the place :) You should have seen the bus we had to get there haha , here is a few pics of the bus ... it had bald tyres it smelt like shit and didnt have ANY air conditioning or open windows and it was fucken hot!! You couldnt even see out the windows because they had so much shit on them haha ...I have been on many shit buses in my time but this one was the worst haha ....3 hours of pure hell ....hungover as all hell also ... not a good combination haha . Here is the "chariot" ;)

 



 

Awesome views from inside the bus !!! ;)

 

 

 

So Budva was the last place on our mega trip and it was pretty damn cool. Had an awesome old town which had a lot of cool stuff in it , also had great beaches in and around the town. Rob and I took a boat cruise one day to a small island right near the town and it was pretty cool ... ended up climbing up some island hill thing which was cool :) Here is a picture of the hill island thing we climbed up ... with no shoes mind you haha ... my feet hurt thinking about it haha :P was awesome though :) 

 

 

 

Ok so the last pic is of  Rob going down a slide in a childrens playground haha just thought it was funny and a good way to end my posts about holidays because its all about having fun and doin stupid shit really ... and we did plenty of both ! I still love Croatia and I think I always will ... the people are super friendly and helpful and interesting and the landscape is just awe inspiring ! GO THERE !!! ;)

 

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Croatia/Montenegro take 2 ! Still love Croatia ! :) - Post 1

Hey hey hey all my internationally travelled intraweb mates how the fuck is your person ? :) Hope your all bloody EPDAWG !! ;)

So yeah as you may or may not know I recently went on a 3 week holiday to Croatia/Montenegro just me and my best mate Rob who I have known and been good friends with since about 1998 so a fucken long time lol and it was freaken awesome as you could have imagined ... I always used to think of Croatia as somwhere where the people would not be so friendly and not speak any English or even want to speak English but seriously its quite the opposite on every level ... except not in Montenegro ... I cant speak for all the people there but in general the people actually were quite unfriendly and it was absolutely FLOODED with Russians and that wasn`t the best as it turns out Russians absolutely HATE people with a long beard such as myself ... one time we were just walking down the street in a place called Herceg Novi and there was a group of 5 Russians about my age walking towards me and one said something very angrily and aggresively in Russian and then spat on the ground right in front of me and I just said what the fuck man and threw my arms out in confusion ...but in this situation it was really the only thing to do unfortunately. They are mostly very very ignorant and they all seemed to think I was a Muslim/terrorist and they just absolutely HATED me haha ... and unfortunately the same kinda goes for most Montenegrans of course this does not count for all Russians/Montenegrans just nearly all the ones I happened to meet ... I met a couple of really cool Russians on this trip but only a couple :( .... whereas on the other hand the Croatians are never looking angrily at me but for the most part just think its funny and laugh at my beard and I laugh and everybody is cool... anyways enough about the bad parts of the holidays the rest of this post will be about the good times and there was many ;)

Ok so we arrived in Split and spent a couple of nights there which was pretty cool as they have a nice bar area and awesome old town with a huge palace right in the port on the water near where we were staying... we were drinking beers outside our Apartment in some dodgy alleyway and it was so cool just to be back in Croatia having a beer with my best mate Rob ;) Here is a picture of a little dude we met running around playing in the alleyway ... even though he couldnt understand us we still had fun giving high fives and chasing him around haha . Oh and by the way how much do I look like a freaken amish person hahahaha I didnt even really realise until I skyped with Sara and she told me I looked like a bloody amish person haha ... probably explains why so many people were laughing when they saw me ... all good im just happy to make people smile ;)

Ok so the next place we went was an island called Hvar and its such cool place .... it has a great old town and even a huge fortress on the top of the big hill which overlooks the town and of course amazing beaches ... it also has a pretty awesome nightlife and many good bars and crazy people to party with , which actually was my downfall as I will explain a bit later haha. This picture is of another island called Mlini which is about 1 hours boatride from Hvar and god damn it was so nice as you can see from this picture ... the water is just so amazingly blue and also the temperature was so good at around 26-28 degrees! . As you can see from this pic Croatia is one freaken beautiful place and you can now understand why I love it so much !! ( sorry its small I cant fucking figure out how to make it larger even though I did on the other pics... it just wont work ... why??  because FUCK BLOGGER thats why haha ) Just zoom in on the pic to get the full awesomeness of it ! :)

So yeah as I said the nightlife is good in Hvar and I had what I call a small "incident" with the corner of a stone wall after I had had way to much to drink ... note to self dont drink 3 bottles of wine BEFORE you go out because this kinda thing will probably happen haha , pretty nasty cut but I was so drunk I didnt really feel it haha ... people ran up to me and aksed if I was ok and I just said yeah sure no problem and they were all telling me I needed a hospital and I just ignored them and carried on my drunken ways until I woke up and looked in the mirror in the morning and I was just like ... fuck now THATS a big night haha... stupid stone walls :P It was so funny when I went in the morning to get stitches because I actually had to get them done at a freaken dentist because there was no doctor apparently ... so if you ever need a tooth pulled in Hvar they got you covered but if you have a medial emergency your fucked haha.

 

Ok so now I have actually realised I will have to make 2 different posts for this trip because hot damn there was so much to do and see that I want everyone to see and hear haha. Next we took a ferry for 3 hours to another island called Korcula and damn this place was just as good as Hvar ! We spent most days getting the local bus to all the small towns on this island and just chilling on the beach having a few beers and some nice and cheap food to wash the beers down with ... and it is cheap ... it only usually costs about $10-15 AUD ( 60-90 NOK ) for an awesome woodfired pizza and half a litre of local beer ( Oszjusko = damn good beer ! ) Anyways these 2 pictures are just of a small town called Racisce` and it was so awesome , this first picture is just of an old church which was next to a restuarant where we were eating pizza and drinking many cold Oszjusko , the 2nd picture is actually the beach which was across the road from the church and restuarant .... unbeleivably beautiful and relaxing and at the same time interesting because this church was so freaken old and awesome. :)

This is all that I will put in this post as its getting a bit big now and im sure you cant be fucked reading so much all at once haha. I will post up the other post tomorrow about the trip :)

That is all , Peace out, Catch

IM BAAAAAAAAAACK !!!! ;) :D Sorry I been gone so long :(

Hey hey hey all me lonely and heartbroken intraweb pals im back and bigger ( literally ) and better than ever ! ;)

Ok so here is the deal as to why I havent posted in a few months ... I got lazy ... the end ... thats really the easy explanation but the long one is that to be honest I havent really had to much to blog about after I came back from my holiday in Croatia/Montenegro because I havent really had a job and to be honest its pretty depressing living in the most expensive country in the world and not having work haha. But now I checked my blog and I saw some people are still checking it out ( the other day I had 40 hits from NEPAL of all places ...how cool is that !! ) which is epdawg to say the least ... epdawg is a word me and my mate Rob made up and its a combination of epic and dawg as you probly guessed and its probly how I would describe my holiday ;)

So whats the news everyone ? Not that anyone answers me anyways haha . My life has changed a bit since last I was on here ranting and raving about my life and shit haha . IM GETTIN MARRIED YO ! Buuuuuut its mainly for visa reasons unfortunately because my visa runs out at the end of the year and getting a new visa here is about as easy as getting open heart surgery from a blind epileptic doctor and surviving ... anyways its pretty cool news I reckon haha and of course Sara is super happy ... and even  MORE happy because now she actually kinda gets to have 3 weddings ... one is on the 7th of December and this is what I call the "visa wedding" or sometimes I call it the "document ceremony" but then we will also have a proper wedding here in Oslo sometime next year and then also have some kind of wedding back home in Australia ... so as you may have guessed she is one happy girl at the moment .... and in turn that makes me happy because my job is done ;)

One friend told me I should update people about my job seeking process and I said that was rediculous because nobody wants to here about that ... this is what it would be like ...woke up at 10am ...did a poo with the door open just because I can , make some garlic bread for breakfast/lunch , rang about 20 different painting companies asking for work and getting rejected by all and at the same time pissing many people off because I have to ask that they speak in English ... a few people actually just hang up on me haha , search online for jobs of which there are basically none , lie down on the couch and watch T.V for 5 hours until Sara gets home to entertain me ;) . This is why im not going to bore you all with talking about what im doing at the moment because its pretty damn shit haha , bit depressing also as I cant get any government welfare or anything while I am looking for work and the worst thing is that there is really not much work out there ... there is some but I dont speak Norwegian so thats a big downfall . Anyways all I can do is try and stay positive and keep my head up ;) That makes me think about the saying keep your chin up ... what the fuck does that really mean anyways because if my chin was actually up then my head would be pointing to the sky and my neck would hurt ... the saying really should be keep your chin parralel to the ground and dont let it go down. ;)

Anyways I think thats enough for this post as im gunna start a new one about my holidays in Croatia/Montenegro ;) Hope I didnt loose to many fans by not being active lately ( I mean any of my 13 fans ) Now I probably have 7 but hey thats better than none haha.

This is a picture of me holding some crazy shit I found in a supermarker in Rome ... it is rabbit and Wild boar spread ... yes you heard right ... SPREAD this shit looked so dang nasty I HAD to get a photo haha ... kinda random but I like to entertain people by always posting up some photos so thats why its here haha .

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)