Thanks for reading c#nts !!! Please share and tell your mum about this blog! ;)

Hey hey hey all my 13 fans (possibly less) but I just wanted to say cheers to all the ppl who read all the shit I post :)

What would be really mega awesome is if you could share my blog on your Facebook page :) You can also add me on Facebook (just say ur a fan of my blog) and then u can see the shit I post almost daily , if that takes your fancy that is ;-). The thing is that yes ok I don't post as often as some might like but I think quality is better than quantity and my posts are usually pretty long and sometimes informative ;) Anyways I'm trying to post at least 2 times per week so whilst u don't need to be checking everyday u can just catch up once a week or some shit. You can easily find the blog on google if you just search Aussie in Oslo and it's at the top ! Kinda makes me feel like the most famous Aussie in Oslo haha , could be , there ain't many of is here, a few... Anyways just wanted to say thanks and would love if you could spread the word about my blog because that's your way of showing thanks! Cheers c#nts

That is all, Peace out, Catch.

Just saw this photo and thought it was funny so I share it with my billions of fans! (Probly the baby of a co-worker of mine) haha

Why the fuck ppl gotta be so serious/angry ?

Hey hey hey all my glum faced mates I hope ur workplace is a bit more enjoyable than mine ;)

So yeah I got a new job (awesome) and it's painting/plastering on a construction site here in Oslo and that's cool cause I like construction sites and having a job, but I tell ya what's not fun .... Nearly everybody there ... There are people from everywhere , Poland , Slovakia , Bulgaria , Kosovo , Macedonia. That's kind of the problem , there are mainly only immigrant workers and to be honest most of these guys are just angry cunts, I have been working with these painters and there are 5 of them and only 2 of them have said hello and introduced themselves ....what the fucking fuck !!!. In Australia I would already be mates with some guys and have had some good conversations ... Not here ... a few of the guys are cool and happy and friendly but most of them just walk around looking as angry as fuck, so angry I wouldn't be surprised if they just grabbed a hammer and started smashing me in the head. It's fucked up ! They need to take a leaf outta this sloths life and chill the fuck out.

What's more fucked is that it effects my actual mentality because it's been proven that if ur around happy ppl u are happier and vice versa so it's bloody shit ... anyways don't wanna complain to much cause it's just good to have work but fuck me some ppl are miserable cunts. Also ok it doesn't help that we don't really speak the same language (only 2 out of about 15 ppl I met speak English) but hey ur not gunna die if u just say hello or even ask a question in Norsk (which I will usually understand if it's a easy question) but it seems that these angry ppl are content with being angry and will continue this way until they end up in their angry grave with people looking super angry at their funeral. The motto is I think = It's nice to be alive!!!  ... I have a song on my playlist called "it's nice to be alive" by a Brissy band called - Ball park music, and it's such a bloody good song, makes any shitty day fucken awesome ... If any of these guys knew I loved it they probly would take a hammer to my head haha. Anyways take it easy and be as happy as possible ... But not to happy .... Nobody likes a Ned Flanders ;-)

That is all, Peace out, Catch ;)

2 Years ago Sara and I did a massive 6000klm road trip around Australia ... it was freaken epdawg! :D

Hey hey hey all my world travelled friends I hope that one day you are lucky enough to do an epic road trip like we did :)

So this was the first time I met with Sara after meeting her in Thailand 9 months earlier ;). We met in Thailand at the end of my 4 week trip and spent only 2 nights together but thanks to Facebook we stayed in contact then through phone and then skype. She arrived and then we set off on a road trip of a lifetime ...6000 klms from Brisbane all the way down the east coast through Newcastle , Sydney , Melbourne , Geelong , Adelaide, then we travelled back through Central South Australia and New South Wales stopping at places like Wilcania and Broken Hill. It really opened my eyes up to how big and awesome our contry really is ... at one point I measured a road that went for 50klms without a corner ... not even a small deviation 50 KILOMETRES !!! ;) Anyways it was a while back now (January 2012) But its still one of the best memories I have because its where I began to love my now wife and also enriched my already huge love for my home country , Australia.

Instead of telling a massive story in words I have decided to just post up a heap of pics because you know what they say , a picture paints a thousand words and its true !! Man what a trip !!

Here is a photo of Sara holding a koala at the Brisbane Koala Park :) She was so happy as you can see hahaha :D

 

 

This is a picture of a fish that Sara caught when we went camping at Pottsville ( my favorite Place in the world to camp) She caught it on the second cast and thought it was the best thing ever haha :P look at the bewilderment on her face hahaha

 

 

 

How can you not want to spend hours here on this sandy riverbank fishing, drinking beer and talking shit !!

 

 

 

 

Picture of the Sydney opera house from a ferry we were on ... looks great in the photo but even better in person ! Made from Swedish tiles also if you didnt know ;)

 

 

 

Yeah in Melbourne we went on a helicoptor tour of the city ... epxensive but well worth it ... first time in a helicopter and felt really safe ! :)

 

 

 

Now if you ask Sara about the best moment in her life she might say marrying me or she might also say finding this koala on the side of the road in Victoria haha ... she even got to go up and pat him which is extremely rare ... I had never done it in the wild and I AM Australian haha ;)

 

 

 

Sara and I at the 12 apostles along the great Ocean road in Victoria , what a great Place!

 

 

 

Probably my favorite thing about the trip was finding these old farmhouses that are long abandoned and then going into them and exploring them and thinking about the olden days ... I like that kinda shit ! ;)

 

 

We checked out some cool Caves in South Australia ... but much to Sara`s dissapointment didnt have any time to check out one of the world famous wineries around that area...Ì am pretty sure anyone who likes wine even a little bit has had some wine from South Australia ;)

 

 

Because Sara had never been to Australia she loved all the wildlife signs so we had to stop at all the different ones to take a Picture ... this one is for a koala ;)

 

 

 



This is around the area where I timed a road that went for 50 kilometres With no corner!! You can see why haha , not much out here ;)

 

 

This is me doing an awesome burnout in the dirt out in the outback... ;)

 

 

 

This is a beach at Port Lincoln where Sara and I travelled to swim with the great white sharks :) I also have a whole post dedicated to our swim with the sharks ;) Was freaken epdawg to say the least!

 

 

 

Rockin out in Peterborough ...wherever the hell that is ... cant remember haha ;)

 

 

 

We stopped at this super small town called Cockburn (hehe) and they would only give me enough fuel to get to Broken Hill because they had to get their fuel in by driving it in barrels from Broken Hill haha super small town ... look at the 2nd photo ... thats the Whole town !!! ;)

 

 

This Picture is of the hotel\pub where we stayed in Broken Hill ... we arrived on a Sunday at around 5pm and found a room in this pub and had a great night getting drunk playing pool and pissing of the locals by playing Abba from the dukebox hahaha it was a freaken great night !!! :)

 

 

 

This last picture is of the toilet door for the ladies toilets in the Ettamogah pub which is halfway to the Sunshine coast from Brisbane ... if you drive the other way from Brisbane you come to the Gold Coast ... why the fuck am I living in Norway when I come from a place where you can drive for an hour one way and be at the Gold Coast and one hour the other way and be at the Sunshine coast ... seriously .... I dont really know ... damn I miss home ... the things you do for love ay ;)

 

 

 

I hope that gives people a better idea of what Australia is really like... my dream is to one day drive around Australia over 3 months ... we did 6000 klms in 3 weeks and to og around Aus is 22,000 klms so 3 months should be all good !! Just gotta keep dreaming :)

 

That is all , Peace out , Catch

 

 



 

Oslo is the 2nd most damn expensive city in the world ... fact!! Booooooo

Hey hey hey all my caviar eating mates I hope you dont have to pay $15 AUD for a beer like my ass does sometimes. Please note that AUD= Australian dollars , which are similar in value to American dollars. $1 AUD = $0.9 USD.

Ok so fuck me where I live is bloody expensive and instead of just complaining to my wife about it I figured I could channel some of my anger here in me blog haha. Have you EVER payed $15 AUD for a fucking beer ? I have and I wasnt to happy about it either , but hey we get paid so much here in Oslo it doesnt matter ... WRONG! Ok yes you get paid slightly more here than I did back home (about %15 more) But in the end that doesnt work out to more Money for more beer .... the problem is that EVERYTHING here is about %20 more expensive and whats worse is that you get taxed a rediculous %35 on my wage... back home I used to get taxed about %25 so all in all im loosing about %15 of my Income and its pretty damn shit. There are a LOT of things to love about living in Oslo but prices are not one ... it makes Lachlan very angry in fact.

This is a sign in a bar we were at and converted it means that a guiness costs you $17!!!!!!!!

I will never forget the first day I arrived and Sara and I went to an average cafe and I ordered a steak sandwhich and an orange juice and after I paid I worked out that it cost me $35 ! From then on I realised how fucked I was. But in saying that you can find ways to save money ... like drinking at the nastiest place I know to drink and its called the Rett Inn Bar and beers will only set you back a mere $8 per pint, its a place filled with low life degenerates and alcoholics and smells bad and is bad in general , but its a great spot to meet with ur mates to have a few quick beers before heading out to the real pubs and clubs where on average you will pay 70NOK or $13.50 per beer!! In Australia you could buy at least 2 beers for that much! What a fucking joke! Anyways you probly get my point and dont really care that much and I understand that. So now I will just make a quick list of prices of things and then you can remember to NEVER complain about anything that is expensive unless you live in Tokyo which is the most expensive city in the world.

Prices are averages in both Norway and Australia, some things are similar in price but not much. :(
ALL IN $AUD

NORWAY                                          AUSTRALIA
-Beer (pub) = $13.50                         =$7.50
-Beer 500ml (supermarket) = $5.5     =$5.5                                
-Take away pizza = $20                    = $13
-Bread = $4.50                                   = $4
-Milk = $3.80                                     = $4
- Hotdog+Energy drink = $15            = $10
-Meal at restuarant = $38                   =$25
-30 minutre Train Journey= $19        =$10

Anyways im sure you can see my point ;) So if you EVER complain about prices just remember poor old Lachie the Aussie in Oslo because that cunts nearly always paying more :P :P

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)

If your fat ass weighs more than 350 pounds you eat for free in American restuarant. SICK !

Hey hey hey all my McDonalds loving mates I hope your all good and that your cheesburgers are as tasy as ever !

Yesterday I was watching the T.V and some program was on and they were going on about places to eat in America and this one place was called "Heart Attack Grill" and of course they served food which if eaten too much will result in a heart attack, which is fucking uncool and seriously disprespectful to those people who have lost loved ones through a heart attack. What if I opened a store called the cancer store or the parkinsons store .... people would NOT be impressed. Now whilst im not the skinniest person in the world I am not super overwweight nor will I ever be because I dont eat McDonalds 5 times a week. The most INSANE thing about this "restuarant" was that if you weighed more than 350 pounds you can EAT FOR FREE .... seriously this is fucked up , they have this huge scale that looks like it would be weighing cows but now its weighing fat ass Americans to see if they are morbidly obese enough to become more morbidly obese for free. Just look at the insanity that is this idea!

 

 

 

HAHAHAHA Deep friend in pure LARD ... and then there is some kind of energy cola and no filter cigarettes to help you along your way to a heart attack and the end of your life .... seriously fucked up ... we should be trying to help these people who are so fat they cant even wipe their own ass ..anyways  how do they wipe their own asses ?? With a rag on a stick? Maybe they blast a firehose up there? Maybe they just roll around in their own filth most of the time ... who knows ... either way my point is that this is fucking insane that we can live in a world where millions are starving yet so many people are dying because they eat TOO MUCH !! Doesnt really make to much sense to me.

 

Look at this kid!!! Problem is that it is not really his fault... its his parents, they should be jailed or loose cutody of this child ... its seriously child abuse with no doubt of a lie ! SICK !

 



 

 

 Anyways I suppose everyone can do the fuck what they want and thats why im on here giving shit to those rediculously fat Americans who think its their god given right to become the most fattest most useless most ugly most smelly pieces of shit they can possibly be ... I hope you have a heart attack you fools... and dont go commenting on this post that its mean to wish that upon someone or your mean because its their Choice. If a heroin junkie dies in an alleyway after 30 years of heroin abuse I have no sympathy for them because its their own choice and this is exactly the same ... you dont need a quadruple bypass burger you fat cunt you just need a treadmill. The End

 

 

That is all, Peace out, Catch

 



Please help Australia save the Great Barrier Reef !!!

Hey hey hey all my ocean loving people I hope your all good and that you like the Great Barrier Reef to stay the way it is and not be completely RUINED and KILLED by rapid industrialisation in the form of mining :(

Gina Rineheart (below) wants to kill the Great Barrier Reef for her own personal gain.. help stop her !!!!

So here is the deal ... Gina Rhineheart (monster bitch) is one of the richest people in the world, in fact she is the 36th richest person in the world and by far the richest person in Australia with a net worth of around  $22 BILLION dollars ... in comparison the next richest Australian is Frank Lowy With $6 billion. Gina Rhinehearts company wants to expand a coal terminal on the Great Barrier Reef and turn it into a MEGA TERMINAL. So that she can increase her profits and send coal faster off to China where it all goes. To expand this terminal will mean digging up 3 MILLION cubic metres of seabed at Abbot point where the current existing terminal is and then dumping this all onto the great barrier reef which is actually a Unesco World Heritage zone!!! This is the equivilent of filling up 150,000 dump trucks with soil which lined end to end would stretch from Brisbane to Melbourne.... 1700 Kilometres !!!!!!! Dumping this soil will deprive corals of oxygen Rich water and they will die, along with the ecosystems around them.

                                This is what is at stake people ! :( Help us save it !!!!

 THIS IS SO FUCKING REDICULOUS !!! First of all they ALREADY have a coal terminal at this Abbot point and also people must remember that coal is a FINITE comoddity meaning that eventually it will RUN OUT!! Why the hell must we build a massive super coal terminal to dig up our rescources faster to send it off to China (who in turn BURNS it for energy increasing global greenhouse gasses and emitions) Why cant we just be happy with the terminal that is there now and just let them continue to dig up our country and send it off to China using the current terminal ... oh no we cant wait that long... WTF ???. You tell me whats going to happen when they do finish digging up all this coal and they have no use for the massive superterminal .... the Great Barrier Reef will be even more close to dying and it will also hugely affect the tourism that is generated from the Great Barrier Reef  which is estimated at $6 BILLION dollars per year and employs approximately 63,000 people ... but NO the fortunes of one Ms Gina Rineheart are much more important for this stupid Liberal government who will stop at nothing to make money ... even if it means killing the biggest reef in the world!!!

All I ask of you guys is to sign this petition :) - Its easy and takes only 1 minute and could mean saving the biggest reef in the world from being killed for the benefit of some rich oil Baroness who doesnt give a shit about anyone but herself. Please sign it :) :)

https://www.getup.org.au/campaigns/coal-seam-gas/save-the-great-barrier-reef/help-save-the-great-barrier-reef

                                                      Help us save this !!!

I have been personally to the Great Barrier Reef and its amazingly beautiful as you could imagine , and to think that it might be killed off for a quick buck just makes me sick ... what will we tell our grandchildren when they ask what happened to the most beautiful coral reef in the world ... "oh we just let some huge oil companies build massive coal terminals there so that the richest person in Australia could become even richer" ....thats what we will have to tell them because thats the truth.... PLEASE DONT LET IT BE !!!! :) Anyways I hope you guys can help out because it would be much appreciated ... %91 of Australians are against this mega terminal yet the government just doesnt care because it makes the rules so what it says goes. Please help us to rise up against this morally wrong government and show the world that we care about the wonderful Great Barrier Reef that we are so lucky to have bestowed upon us in Australia and help us save it for future generations to enjoy and care for :)

Come on guys even if you live in Botswana or Peru or America or the U.K- YOU CAN ALL HELP !!!! :) Please dont just read this and not help ... it takes one minute to sign the petition and will mean so much to the world !!

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)

                                             How can we sit by when they are going to kill this !!!???