Australia volume 2 yo !

Yo yo yo all my interweb reading mates how the fuck are ya !? Hope your all bloody good !

So yeah after we came back from Moreton Island we went on a big road trip to visit my relatives who live in Orange in New South Wales which is about 2200 kilometres return trip ... pretty big road trip ! Was bloody awesome ! There is nothing better than not actually knowing where you are going to stop but just choosing a town from the map and saying , yep we will stay there ! On the way down we stayed in a town called Armidale and caught up with my cousin Mick who lives there. We slept in his mates bed which was bloody comfortable but also weird sleeping in the room and bed of someone who we had never met ...but it was free and it was comfortable so it was good ! Then after that we stopped at a town called Dubbo and we stayed at some awesome old pub in the middle of town. We even got a free upgrade on our room which meant we didnt have to use the nasty shared bathrooms haha. Then we stayed in Orange for a night and caught up with Family which was bloody awesome cause I hadnt seen many of them in over 5 years !

This is just some random dead tree I saw and took a photo of ... I reckon its really awesome and really refelects the Australian outback ! :)

 

 

A cockatoo at some small and kinda weird zoo in the middle of nowhere in the middle of New South Wales !

 An emu in the same middle of nowhere zoo !

On the way back we stayed in a place called Moree. Apparently there are a heap of hot water springs due to the artisanal waters or whatever it is around the area. We found a half dodgy motel on the side of the highway which had a pool and spa with warm water coming up directly from the springs ! Bloody epdawg it was !!!

Sara in the spa pool in Moree ... the hot water came up from 642m underneath the earth ... awesome !

Welcome to COONABARABRAN !!! ;)

 

Welcome to BOGGABILLA !! ;)

 

Christmas day in Australia !

Other than those main places we stayed we also went through countless small towns and medium sized towns and they were all pretty damn cool. Seriously nothing better than rocking up to some small town of 3000 people and going to the local pub for lunch and order a huge steak and a nice cold beer. Fuck me I wish I had both of those things right now ! All in all just another epic road trip that Sara and I have been on in Australia. Nothing compared to the 6000 kilometre road trip we did the first time Sara came to Australia but it was still bloody awesome !! :)

That is all, Peace out, Catch ;)

Went back home to Australia for christmas ... was fucken EPDAWG!!! :)

Yo yo yo how the bloody hell are ya my fellow warm blooded mammal friends ?

So yeah Sara and I went back to Australia for a month in December/January and holy fuck me it was good ! To be honest it was a bit surreal to be back home because it was over 2.5 years ago I left to move my ass to bloody Oslo of all places.

One thing that I did realise about being back home is that people are just motherflipping awesome ... everywhere u go people are friendly and they are actually genuinely friendly . Not just friendly because they think they need to be. Even when Sara and I were in some stupid girly clothes shop we ended up talking to the chick behind the counter for about five minutes because she asked us a few questions ... its bloody awesome . Even when we were on the bus on the way home at nearly every single bus stop whenever anyone got off they always looked up and waved to the driver to say thank you ... that shit would NEVER happen in Oslo!!!.

So we ended up doing a whole lot of cool shit back home. Which was sweet ! The first cool thing we did was go camping on an island called Moreton Island which is a huge sand island (2nd biggest sand island in the world!) just off the coast of Brisbane for a weekend with a few of my good mates and Family (There was 12 of us all up). What a fucken great trip it was !!! I love nothing more than being away from the city just camping and chilling and doing sweet shit like surfing or fishing or bushwalking or just having a few beers on the beach listening to some sweet tunes just talking shit ! Was a great weekend and I also invented a new alcoholic beverage ! Just mix some goon (cheap wine) and some lemonade and then chuck a couple of teaspoons of coffee in there ! I was feeling a bit tired on the second night after a big night on the first night so i figured I would try this new drink which I have appropriately named GOONOFFEE!!!! To be honest,  yes it tastes as bad as you think . But after that you do get stimulated and get a buzz so in the end it was bloody good !! I could write a heap about Moreton and how much I love it but I reckon just putting a few pictures up here will be better at explaning the awesomeness of Moreton !

This first Picture is of all the shipwrecks near the beach when you come in on the big car ferry . In the 1970s the local council sunk a whole heap of ships to form an artificial reef where you can snorkel and there is about literally 56 million Fish Down there !!!! :) So awesome !!

 

Sara and I next to a whale jaw bone !!!

Bloody huge it was ... and smelly haha

 

 

Ra, Joal , Me and Patrick chilling at honeymoon bay !  

 





 

 

 

Sara With one huge bloody jellyfish !! I got stung by a few of these when we went bodyboarding that same day !! Not so much fun, but not that bad cause they arent poisonous or anything ... still hurts a bit !

 

This is a selfie of us taking a selfie ... kinda . Me and one of my best mates Jacko taking a picture of our sexy asses !! ;)

 

 

 

All in all it was a freaken great weekend of laughs and adventure and just good times in general ! Because so bloody much shit went down in Australia I will have to write a few seperate blogs about it so I can fit in all the awesome !! :) :) :)

 

That is all , Peace out, Catch ;)

 

 

 

 

 

Whats the bloody deal with .... EVERYTHING !

Yo yo yo im here to complain my ass off so if you dont wanna hear it then I suppose you should just fuck right off haha :P

Anyways since I have had my knee surgery I have had problems getting money from the government assistance program here in Norway and this means that I have zero dollars . This combined with the fact that I have basically had to stay at home for two months while my knee recovers is making Lachlan go something something (motherflipping insane!). So I figured I could write a whole lot of shit on the internet about shit things or people and it would make me feel better ! Here goes :P

Ok I do admit I look at my phone a fair bit everyday but one thing I dont do is look at it all the time when I am with someone . This means so much to me that if Sara and I are out and I happen to look at my phone and she starts looking at hers I gotta put mine down because I dont wanna be one of those couples who  just go out and stare at their phones . Fuck me people look up from your phones its way more exciting !!! For example yesterady I got my ass off the couch to go down the shops which are about 200m away from our apartment and I came across some middle aged crazy(assumed) guy who was walking down the street with boxing gloves on and and a bottle of detergent in his hand and he was pretending to fight all the cars driving past , not sure what he was trying to do , maybe punch the cars clean haha . We need more people like him in the world , just as long as they dont go raping and killing people . Crazy people are fine haha.

See look how crazy and awesome this dude is!!! More of him I say !!! :)

The whole world is fucked. If you look at world politics over a long period of time and then look at where we are at now you could realise that the world is unbeleivably rooted ! Here are a few examples of why the world is fucked . The war in Syria . It started when I met my now wife Sara about 4 years ago and in the first year they were reporting all the atrocities that were being committed. (including the chemical weapons attack on a School and a bombing raid on a line of People trying to get bread) These are only two small examples of what has happened and is STILL happening in Syria . The only reason is that we dont hear about it anymore because the people who be (Media/politicians) dont think we need to hear about it anymore because it doesnt suit their agenda.

Next reason is one that I really cant get my head around .Unless you have been living under a rock or are EXTREMELY ignorant you would know that all the worlds ice caps are melting and its most probably due to climate change. Now seeing as though all the ice caps are melting due to the over use of fossil fuels we have decided its a fucking great idea to drill for oil UNDER the ice caps that have melted probably (99% sure) from a direct action of us drilling the fucking oil in the first place .... STUPIDEST FUCKING IDEA EVER !!! Its the same as if you ... well I cant even think of an example to compare it to because its just so fucking stupid haha.

Yeah so the worlds fucked but hey we still gotta live in it . I may come accross as a bit of an angry dude but really im just saying what I think. Im still happy . Have never been happier to be honest !. But im also very dissapointed and angry at how the world is going these days . I hope my kids and their peers are gunna be able to do magic because once our generation is finished raping the world its gunna need some magic to fix it. Oh and btw I promise my next blog will be about Our trip to Australia ... which was fucking epdawg ! I did a skydive over the bloody whitsundays ! :P

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)

Had knee surgery... now I blog about it ! :P

Yo yo yo what the fuck is up all my hospital loving fellow humanoids !

So yeah been needing to have my left knee reconstructed for about 5 years now and about two months ago it finally bloody happened ! I remember when I went for my MRI scan here in Oslo and I was talking to the radiologist after and he looked at the MRI and said "yep theres defeinetely something wrong there" . Well no fucken DAH Einstein haha . When my doctor actually saw it he asked if I was in a car accident because the damage was so bad. In the end I had two ligaments that were snapped . Both my ACL and MCL . Without going into to much detail but because they had to replace my MCL also it became quite a big surgery as compared to just having my ACL fixed . Here is a photo of what it looked like after the surgery :) This is actually a couple of weeks after the surgery. Fucken bloody huge scar on my knee and down the other side of my knee. Cool . Scars . I swear if I tell people in Europe I got the scars wresting crocodiles they would actually just beleive me even though the scars look anything like a crocodile bite haha :P

Because the surgery was so big I had to have a bloody epidural . For those who are not aware what this is its when they get a massive needle and stab it INTO your spine and inject all the painkilling drugs through there via a drip . Of course being my luck it didnt work so well on the leg that had surgery but it worked great on my other one haha. Tell ya what was not fun was when I got up and I moved my back and then lay back down and the needle had moved in my spine . You know how it feels when your lying on something uncomfortable, try lying on something uncomfortable thats actually a needle stabbing into your spine haha . Fun Level ZERO !

This was literally a picture of me as soon as I woke up after surgery . Had to stay in hospital for 4 nights after and I had a pipe shoved into the end of my dick so i could piss in a bag . It was not fun . Im just glad I got a window bed so I could look out at the other hospital buidlings . it was great ! ;)

All in all it was ok to have surgery . Hurt a fair bit more than I expected but in the end its gunna be awesome because in a year from now I can blog about how good it is to be back playing sport and not just be a useless dude with a fucked knee ! The shit thing was that I thought they would give me some heaps good drugs to take home and I could just sit around for a couple of months of my head having a great time on the couch . Not so . The ones I got did releive the pain, mostly , but they didnt get ya high or anything . Not that I need to be high I just thought it was a good reward for putting up with all the pain haha :P Remember kids . Drugs are bad mmmmmmmkay ;)

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)

Flying camel testicles Optimus Prime I havent blogged in AGES !!!

Yo yo yo wat the fuck is up all my interwebblogreadingpeople !! ;) Sorry I havent blogged in ages ... been lazy tbh . No point in lying haha just been bloody lazy !

A fair bit has happened since I blogged last so I figured I would tell you all about it ;) The biggest thing that happened probably was that Sara and I went back to Australia ! It was freaken epdawg !. So epdawg that I think I will make a seperate blog about it ! :) Oh I had a knee reconstruction but thats also another story ;)

So even though I havent blogged in ages it seems that the same things still both amuse me and make me angry . What still amuses me is as follows -

-People who have the IQ of a turtle who seem to think its their right to go on the internet and tell everyone else what they think about everything.
-People just failing hard at life and then posting it on FB
-Heroin addicts. People say they are good for nothing but they are good for a few things ! Number one is the fact that u can look at them and think . Fuck im actually doing ok compared to them. Number two is they provide an endless amount of entertainment . I saw one the other day who literally fell asleep standing up infront of a bus ! hahahaha. Of course its sad in a way, but nobody forced this upon them so I dont have too much sympathy.

I love many things about this post but at the end I love how she says sciencetist instead of sciencetists . Its not only spelt very wrong is kind of emplies theres only one scientist in the world . Tell ya what that one scientist dont come from her family haha.

There are of course many other things that amuse me. But I figure I cant list them all. Now I will tell you what pisses me off.

-Most Things, haha man I think im getting old, either that or the world is just sucking a big dick atm.
-People who post up more than a few times on FB per day . Ok I get you like the environment and want to save it but fuck me dont post up 13 different things per day about saving fucking dolphins or whales or some other animal or environment . Yes I love animals and the environment but if you post that shit up 13 times per day eventually I end up ignoring most of your posts so your msg doesnt even get across and im sure im not the only one ignoring your 13 posts per day ! ;)
-The fact that Sara wants me to vaccuum UNDER the couch . I dont see the point . Number one nobody goes under there so who am I cleaning it for . Number two is that its just gunna get dirty again and we will clean it again for who to notice ? NOBODY ! ;)

Again of course there are many more things that piss me off (too many to list haha) but I do think thats enough for now otherwise I will run out of things to blog about.

Anyways I reckon this blog is done but I will keep posting regularly nowadays because I have been fucking lazy lately. About as lazy as those people who just give up on life and get a mobility scooter . In Australia those things are bloody everywhere!! Here in Norway the old people just suck it up and walk around with ski poles. They dont just give up and say life is so bloody hard I cant even be bothered walking . Ok some ppl need them for health reasons or because they are REALLY REALLY old and thats fair enough but when I see them morbidly obese people on them I think , fuck mate the reason your in one of them is because you dont walk enough , so u then decided to just give up on everything and decided not to walk anymore . Well im fucking sorry but I aint giving you no sympathy if you dont even try at life. Be mobile people be mobile . I cant stress that enough! ;)

No sympathy !

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)

Stupid people and facebook ... bad combination .

Hey hey hey all my social media addicted friends and Family (maybe?lol) . HOW THE FUCK ARE YA !? ;)

So everyone knows facebook and this also means that everyone knows that some people are just really shit at facebook , so much so that its actually disturbing . I will admit im on facebook a fair bit because to be honest I do like seeing what other people are doing with their lives seeing as though I live so far away from home (15,410klm to be exact haha) and I work With a lot of People who dont speak English. BUT there are many things that shit me about facebook and so I figured that I will share with you my disLIKES about facebook . If you dont agree then complain about it on facebook - and possibly share my blog ! That would be epdawg of ya ! ;)

People who are always changing their profile picture to one they have used many times before just in the hope to get many likes and comments etc . FUCK . OFF . YOU . DICKS. If I saw your profile pic the first time when you changed it to that one really great photo you found of yourself then I probably liked it and thats cool . Whats NOT cool is seeing that same fucking picture like 9 times AGAIN because you feel sorry for yourself and need the nice warm comforting blanket of likes on your facebook . You wanna get likes then think of something funny and witty to post or dress up in a dress like I do :P. Dont just fucken post up some stupid fucking list of the best facebook fails ever and say WOOOOAAAAHAHAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS ! Because its fucking NOT . Oh and while im at it those fucking screen shots of stupid msgs people send to to wrong person or some shit ... what the fucking fuck . If I wanted to I could think of the funniest shit ever you could accidentaly sms to my mum and just use my girlfriends phone and change her name to mum and send so called "hilariously" embaressing text msgs to MYSELF and then take a screen shot and call it hilarious . STOP IT .

Just now I saw a friend of mine has posted up some video of a jet plane taking off from a jet carrier , doing a flip in mid air and then just shooting off into the sky like some kind of magic fucking superplane . Come on mate you arent that stupid you beleive that jets can literally just do a fucking flip and then take off . Dont you think we would have heard or seen this before if it was real !? But hey most of the world beleives in god and hes fucking magic so why not magic jet planes , sure !

Oh and when people post up shit on their mates timeline which should just be sent by a personal msg-  They are just screaming for attention . Like when some girl posts to her friends timeline so everyone can read it . - "Crazy night Kaz hope you woke up ok!!  BESTIES!!!XOXO !" . The only thing I can think of is GET. FUCKED. Go back to your hovel Shanae and watch 8 more episodes of Hollywood housewives or whatever all the douchebag chicks watch nowadays.

Really I could go on for bloody ages about all the retarded things people do on facebook but I would be here forever so I will just leave it at then and remind myself that most people are actually quite stupid and annoying and leave it at that . Cheers cunts !

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)

Some things I will never get used to in Norway !

Hey hey hey all my interweb mates , been having a lot of views from Poland lately ! Czesch ! I think thats how ya spell it haha u guys have crazy spelling , a few of my good mates here in Norway are Polish and I visited Szezchin a few months back and it was pretty cool , not the best city for a tourist but I went there cause a mate of mine is from there . Anyways moving on .

Ok so now its coming into winter here in Norway and it got me thinking about the many things are EXTREMLELY different from life back home in Australia. here are just some.

The Darkness -
In Norway in the winter the sun will only rise at around 9:00am and it will set around 3:00 so u get only 6 hours of sunlight , if there is any sun that is . I remember one time I literally did not see one second of sun for about 2 weeks and fuck me I nearly went insane ! But the darkness also has a good side , well kind of . In the summer there is fucking shiteloads of sun ! The sun will come up around 4:30 am and wont set until around midnight, which is cool as fuck and sometimes makes it a bit hard to get to sleep haha . Feels really weird going to bed most nights around 11 and its still light as day outside.

The Cold-
Coming from Australia this is an obvious one but seriously it get FUCKING COLD !! The coldest I have felt is around  minus 25 degrees celcius and when it gets that bloody cold I like to call it angry cold because I get angry when its that cold . Minus 10 or 15 actually isnt that bad (never thought it would ever say that) and u can deal with minus 15 but when it gets minus 25 its just fucked.

The drinking culture-
Norwegians dont mind a drink and like to party almost as much as Aussies , well not almost but still they do. But the crazy thing is that in the summer they drink and party HEAPS and its a normal thing to go to the fjord or park and drink and have bbqs until midnight even on a Monday night if there is sun . Buuuut if you are walking around the city with a beer in winter or any of the colder months then people just look at you like your some kind of criminal or low life scum and it really shits me . Note in this photo the chicks in bikinis behind these people , this park would be in the middle of the city yet there are chicks in bloody bikinis everywhere haha crazy shit right there ! N.B I dont know these people haha

The sports-
The most popular sport in Norway after soccer would be cross country skiing and seriously I dont understand why ? Ok you come from a country where there is a LOT of snow and you all like to ski/snowbaord but why cross country ski !? What about the half pipe in snowboarding or the aerial skiing where they do like 6 flips and 12 spins and a grab and then land. THAT is cool !. Watching people basically run with skiis for like 30 kilometres . Its like if marathons were the most popular sport in Australia , there is basically zero skill involved , its all about stamina , and whilst I do admire their stamina and their endurance its about as exciting as watching people run on a treadmill for 2 hours . Probably now the government will find out I said these things and I will soon be deported as is the level of love these people have for this mind numbingly boring sport.

The social interaction , or lack thereof -
In Australia when Sara came to visit me we were in a lift on the way down from our apartment we were staying in and some lady hopped in and just said gday what are you guys up to today and I said this and that and asked her the same and then we got out and went our own way and Sara immediately asked me -"did you know that lady?" I said no she was just being friendly and this kind of shit happens everywhere everyday in Australia but does that happen here . NO (well not much) . A lot of my good mates back home have been made from meeting people in the apartment buildings where I lived but that is most probably not going to happen here . Its not that people are not friendly they just like to keep to themselves , if you say hello to them they will say hello back and be friendly but thats about it. Oh and whilst we are talking about social interaction I may aswel talk about the whole mobile addiction thing . People in Norway seem to think that their phones actually give them life and that if they dont look at their phone for 10 minutes they might die . Often I see couples out on a date or even a group of friends and they are ALL sitting there staring at their stupid fucking phones and not actually talking to each other .

The whole not going outside for 6 months -
This is probably the biggest thing that gets to me because back home I was always doing things outside - playing Soccer/cricket/football , bushwalks , bodyboarding , camping and many other things but because I cant ski or snowboard because I have a knee that needs reconstruction there is really not much to do in the winter but sit inside and watch movies and play boardgames and "make cosy" as Sara likes to call it haha. The good thing is that now I have a few good mates so we can get together and have a couple of beers and play some poker or something like that :)

The amount of hot chicks -
It is REDICULOUS how good looking the women are in Scandanavia (Lucky I got me one) , I even wrote a previous blog post dedicated to just that. I say that in Norway even the ugly chicks are hot haha . A mate of mine says that the chicks are so hot you wanna marry the chick serving you at McDonalds. I dont know what they have in the water up here but whatever it is is bloody working! This is a Picture of what basically ALL the chicks look like in Norway/Sweden , ;)

Ok methinks that is enough now because nobody wants to read a bloody book , this is a blog not a diary haha. I hope I didnt offend any Scandos with my thoughts but really you gotta admit cross country ski is boring as fuck haha :P

That is all , Peace out, Catch ;)