Wednesday 26 June 2013

Having a blog is like having a baby .... ;) :)

Hey hey hey my friends who are using the intraweb for entertaining your soul ....I hope I can help with the entertaining bit ... at least I can try my hardest and my mum always said thats good enough , so thats good enough for me ;)

Having a blog is almost like having a baby .... it starts off small and has 2 parents ( me and the internet ) and its all cute and small and innocent at first and then it gets older and wiser and nastier real quick :P , you feed them they grow , they meet more people, they make new friends ;) Only difference really is that one is make beleive and purely a figment of my imagination and the other is a harsh reality followed by massive personal, financial and emotional responsibilities ;) ... think im just gunna start 2 other blogs instead of having the 3 kids that I want ... I can have a blog family and when I turn 40 and have done this for 15 years I can shoot myself in the realisation that the blogs really are stupid ( sort of anyways ) and that I missed my opportunity to procreate in this world and that I actually missed the whole point of living because I was so caught up with my 3 blog babies .....ok this is really starting to get out of control im gunna start a new paragraph :P

You know what I really hate , well apparently many things according to some of my close friends and girlfriend , and family haha , but I just tend to refer to it as constructive criticism of the world in which we live ....I mean so much stupid shit happens all day everyday and I just happen to be the person who decides to point it out and make stupid remarks about it ....anyways here is a list of 5 things that I hate , in no particular order or level of hate

1: GEORDIE SHORE : This is whats wrong with the world , watch a full eposide of this vile creation and you will feel like vommiting and shitting and pissing at the same time just to rid your body of any of the bullshitnastyness that exudes from this terrible terrible show .

2: INSTAGRAM : Seriously wat the fuck is the go with this shit ...you can post photos on facebook !  oh but whats that ...you can choose from 72 different filters to make your ugly face seem some kind of good ....it still dont work ....you simply just look ugly in a different filter . One thing that is advantageous of this stupid revelation in social media is that it means that people are not posting pictures of their dinner AS often ...they still do of course , but since the revelation of INSTAGAY there has been at least %23.79 less photos of peoples stupid dinner on facebook. ;)

3: PEOPLE WITH BABIES ON FACEBOOK : Seriously, yes I saw you have a kid , NO I dont need to see a new picture of it every 3 or 4 hours cause it looks ugly and has a weird shaped head and its not just me that thinks that because I saw you captioned it " such a cute little girl " but in the comments nobody mentioned the word cute , they said congrats , yay , nice pic and so on but no cute ... if I had an ugly baby I would keep it in the washing machine and only take it out when clothes are dirty and feed it leftover dog food that the dog doesnt eat. ( Note this is not true in any way ! :P )

4: TECHNOLOGY: What the fuck is the go with people going out to dinner and both of them are on their stupid phones scrolling throught pages and pages of stupid useless information that just clogs their brain up with shit and takes away from the actualy experience of being a human , which is massivly built around dealing with other people in the community and learning how to interpret different social situations and correct ways to act etc. Just wait till you get home in 2 hours and then check facebook ....NOTHING WILL HAPPEN !!!!

5: OLD PEOPLE : Ok I know this is a bit harsh and also slightly hypocritical seeing as though im hoping to be one of these one day ...but until I pass 60 im not considered annoyingly old ....ok where to start .... do they practice getting in the road and walking slow or does this talent just come from years and years of walking and then just giving up and thinking ....FUCK I dont give a fuck anymore im not concentrating when I walk and if people get annoyed I dont give a fuck because im old and they cant punch an old person because thats just not cool . They smell funny , come on they do ...some of them may look cute but oh dear god do they emit a nausingliatingly strong odour of musk/old smell , im not sure but im guessing that deoderant and personal hygine hadnt taken effect in society before these people got old so im giving them the benifit of the doubt on this one ...but after 2040 if your old and you smell funny im going to walk up to you and say politely " excuse me sir/madam but you smell like a homeless person who hasnt showered in 79 days and has been sleeping in a rubbish bin full of hospital waste next to the hospital " and maybe im hoping that would be enough to shock them into conforming with the rest of the civilised world and just do one thing and thats spray a bit of deoderant before you go out venturing ;) I also dont like them because they remind me of mortality and make me think about the fact that , yeah your young now , but your turning 30 soon and then theres 40 next and then 50 and then your fucked . If there were no old people walking around then I wouldnt think about the fact that one day I will die I would just carry on wasting away my life in blissfull harmony writing blogs to about 20 people and complaining about things that most people like ....fuck I think im already getting old ! ;)

Anyways thats about all for today maybe tomoroww I willl write a list of the top 5 things that I really love ...or maybe I might write a list of the 5 best balconies of any house/apartment I have ever lived in and how good their views were and other certain funtionalities of the balcony . Ok im out ;)

That is all , Peace out , Catch ;)

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